Surprise! Despite heightened expectations of retooled Madonna morphing and a publicized Dido milk bath, Britney (mach 3) is just as confused an affair as either of the campaigns (they aren't really records, are they?) preceding, cramming hiccups and histrionics into typically layered pastiches of sex and, well, nothing. Dido's co-penned "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman" is an oddly majestic paean to transition. But a track like the unforgivable Neptunes-touched single, "I'm a Slave 4 U" (thanks for bringing that word into the suburban bedroom, Brit) reeks of cheap Appalonia redux, minus the Prince to excuse it ... 4 U.
Things really sink when Brit and company (whoever that might be) take all of the wind out of "I Love Rock 'n' Roll," making it sound like a tin-can anthem on an episode of Kids Incorporated. But Brit's no kid anymore, shedding even more clothes for this sleeve than ever. Maybe next time she'll be naked and we can all really make fun of her.
We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Orlando Weekly. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Orlando Weekly, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.
Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Support Local Journalism.
Join the Orlando Weekly Press Club
Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.
Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.
Join the Orlando Weekly Press Club for as little as $5 a month.