Nothing brings out hollow, maudlin sentimentality quite like Christmas. (OK, perhaps terrorist attacks come close.) Thus, it's not too surprising that the folks at the Song-Poem Archives were able to cobble together an entire CD's worth of amateur lyricists' attempts at adding to the holiday songbook. Quick refresher: Song-poems are the result of people responding to "We put your words to music!" ads in the back of comic books and tabloids. The musicians are skilled, if uninspired, composing the music in minutes and knocking out the recordings in one take. The lyrics, understandably, are horrifying. In the same way that every soccer mom and accountant felt the urge to express their post-Sept. 11 patriotism via hokey poetry, Christmas seems to bring out the "creativity" in the most uncreative people. And these 21 songs show just how uncreative people can be. Or rather, it shows how unintentionally bizarre people can be when they think they're being creative. That said, "Santa Came on a Nuclear Missile," "Santa Claus Goes Modern," "Rocking Disco Santa Claus" and the other 18 tracks on this disc are just the right antidote for yet another year of Gene Autry and Elvis on the family hi-fi come that blessed morning.
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