Our Rating: 1.00
Being nonlinear means never having to make sense. Without its digressions and flash-forwards (and -backwards and -sideways), Wicker Park's plot would barely fill two minutes of screen time. Josh Hartnett is an upscale retail drone who doesn't get a reconciliation letter from his blond girlfriend (Diane Kruger), thanks to the doings of pathetically jealous, not-blond Rose Byrne. No, storytelling isn't the point here, nor is sizzle: Chemistry-wise, Hartnett and his girls are about as hot as animated clip art. Rather, Wicker's ersatz Memento-isms are meant to congratulate its upscale demographic for figuring out what might be going on at any given point (a daunting task worthy of a reward the film never provides). One suspects the movie really exists to promote its companion CD, released one month ago and filled with sonic taffeta by Mazzy Star, Mum and Mogwai.