Movie: After the Sunset

Our Rating: 2.00

This Caribbean crime caper is best appreciated as an extended travelogue of one of the movie industry's most reliable locations: Salma Hayek's abdomen. As the distaff half of a retired pair of jewel thieves, Hayek lets her amazing anatomy carry scene after scene of hotel intrigue and seaside scheming. Meanwhile, partner in crime Pierce Brosnan displays several open-shirted views of his middle-aged gut to audiences who don't mind settling for that sort of thing. The story has two engaged-but-not-married scalawags fighting off the temptation to steal again, while outsmarting the pesky surveillance efforts of a bumbling FBI agent (Woody Harrelson). From the predictable double-crosses to the dopey locker-room humor, there's nothing here that couldn't have found its way into a heist flick in 1989. Or 1979. Or 1969. Highlight: Don Cheadle, playing a crime lord with the vocabulary of Don King and an unhealthy interest in The Mamas and the Papas. Yes, way.