Movie: Mindhunters

Our Rating: 1.50

Postponed from last winter and finally let loose to get its throat ripped out in the summer-action coliseum, schlockmeister Renny Harlin's fatuous murder mystery plays like Ten Little Indians for GamePro subscribers. A bootylicious class of FBI profiler candidates encounters death and dismemberment on a remote island when the allegedly fictitious villain of their latest training exercise starts picking them off one by one. (The incredibly elaborate simulations these kids get to trudge through are apparently the product of a U.S. government that has a good deal more dosh to throw around than the OMB would prefer to cop to.) Christian Slater and Val Kilmer are among the B-list stars trying not to look humiliated as they spout painfully square dialogue about new members "joining the team" and such. But it's the mysterious assailant's moniker – The Puppeteer – that demonstrates most effectively how much better the movie would have been had it been performed entirely by Gerry Anderson-style marionettes. Mindhunters are go!

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