Underworld: Evolution H1/2
True to its title, Underworld: Evolution represents a modest learning curve for director Len Wiseman, who advances from the inept awfulness of his first vampire-versus-werewolf idiocy to the determined mediocrity of this incomprehensible follow-up. Assuming that his audience has not only seen the first film but done so within the last 10 minutes, he dives right back into the enormously complicated, unresolved, interspecies shenanigans from U-1. Along with the super-gory monster rallies faced by 'good" vampire Selene (Kate Beckinsale), half-breed werewolf hunk Michael (Scott Speedman) and bat-like baddie Marcus (Tony Curran), Wiseman ups the incomprehensibility ante with flashbacks that traverse eight centuries of supernatural hoo-haw. While he still doesn't know jack about characterization or coherence, he does know from branding: Just as red and white symbolize the Target retail chain, so does the blue murk through which Wiseman's Underworlds are filmed represent his cheap goth which at least makes it easy to avoid on sight when it airs on cable.