The Da Vinci Code

The Da Vinci Code
Studio: Sony Pictures Releasing
Rated: PG-13
Cast: Tom Hanks, Jean Reno, Audrey Tautou, Ian McKellen
Director: Ron Howard
WorkNameSort: Da Vinci Code, The
Our Rating: 1.00
If Basil Exposition from the Austin Powers movies were allowed to write a screenplay, the result might be The Da Vinci Code, which wears itself out yammering about centuries-old mysteries when it could be chronicling genuine activity of some sort. The boredom is stultifying as history sleuths Tom Hanks and Audrey Tautou slowly tumble to airport novelist Dan Brown's life-altering revelations (Jesus married Mary Magdalene; they started a bloodline that survives to this day; the devil wears Prada). You'd think director Ron Howard would remember that film is supposed to be a visual medium, but the inert Code has less dynamic content than a Sunday-school filmstrip. Throw in what may well be the worst Tom Hanks performance on record, and the movie's only accomplishment is putting two distinct groups of imbeciles ' religious fundamentalists and conspiracy theorists ' at each other's throats. Still, the enemy of my enemy is nothing I need to order from Netflix. (PG-13) ' SS