Studio: Buena Vista Pictures Distribution
Rated: G
Release Date: 2006-06-09
Cast: Owen Wilson, Paul Newman, Bonnie Hunt, Richard Petty, Cheech Marin
Director: John Lasseter, Joe Ranft
WorkNameSort: Cars
Our Rating: 2.00
Or, as it's about to become known in the halls of Disney, How Much Did We Pay for Pixar Again? The creative mind rot that was foretold by The Incredibles comes home with full, Lamborghini-against-a-brick-wall force in a dull highway opera that's only notable for its technical achievements. Those reflective paint jobs and blinding bleacher lights are every bit as vibrant as the real thing, making the opening NASCAR-esque race a surprisingly exciting affair. But the movie isn't about cars going fast, it's about them breaking down ' which is what hotshot stock car Lightning McQueen (Owen Wilson) does in the middle of a desert nowhere that yields nearly two hours of low comedy and tire-cooling ennui. The anthropomorphized autos aren't cute or funny, the story is unforgivably trite and the one sequence that shows any heart at all is largely lifted from Toy Story 2. Paint a smiley face on your own car and talk to it for 116 minutes ' the entertainment value won't be all that different. (G)


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