Lady in the Water

comment
Lady in the Water
Studio: Warner Bros. Pictures Distribution
Rated: PG-13
Cast: Paul Giamatti, Bryce Dallas Howard, Freddy Rodriguez, Jeffrey Wright, Bob Balaban
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Screenwriter: M. Night Shyamalan
WorkNameSort: Lady in the Water
Our Rating: 1.00

Supposedly, M. Night Shyamalan crafted this fatuous and arbitrary riff on mermaid legendry as a bedtime story for his children. If so, he's utterly failed at adapting it to the somewhat higher standards of less partisan audiences, like nonimpaired adults and the neighbor kids. Think very carefully: Do you want to spend the better part of an evening cooped up in a dingy Philly apartment complex, listening to a colorful (read: ethnically insensitive) cast of losers discuss the fate of a fish-girl out of water ' especially when said discourse entails reciting ludicrous fairy-tale names in voices better suited to MAD TV's Mrs. Swan? Get ready to learn about 'narfs,â?� 'scrunts,â?� 'tartuticsâ?� and other creatures obviously created on the fly, and then to apologize to the makes of The Da Vinci Code, who can point to this misbegotten mess as proof of what a movie that's all exposition really sounds like. Never has the evidence been so clear that a once-promising director has gone completely insane, yet seldom has said proof been so all-fired dull. Throw it back.

Tags

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Orlando Weekly. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Orlando Weekly, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at feedback@orlandoweekly.com.

Orlando Weekly works for you, and your support is essential.

Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of Central Florida.

Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep Orlando’s true free press free.