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Fox News boldly investigates Jesus Potato
A granny preacher in Marion County - of course - sees an image of Jesus on the cross on a potato, and Fox News rushes to the scene. Let's take a sample, shall we? Oh hell, let me post the whole thing, because it's short and so very ridiculous.
â??Thatâ??s Jesus on the Cross. Just looking at it I don't have to convince,â?� said Renee.
Renee says she had been looking for an excuse to get out of making potato salad. â??I was hesitant about making the potato salad because Sister Frankie makes the potato salad at church and I said lord if itâ??s not for me to make potato salad then send me a sign.â?�
She thought she got her sign right off the bat. â??The first potato I split in half and put it to the side because it looked rotten.
It was her 10-year-old granddaughter who made her give the potato a second look. â??My granddaughter said Granny did you see that in the middle? I said what?â?�
And taking a closer look she saw the cross with Jesus in the middle. â??Itâ??s remarkable. Even when I cut the good part off the cross ended up being shaped like a tomb from long ago.â?�
Pastor Brewster froze the heart of that potato bearing Jesus. The rest was used to make the potato salad served during their weekly rescue mission.
â??How was that potato salad? â??It was good. It was the best you ever made...it was almost as good as Sister Frankie's,â?� said Bishop Brewster.
The potato did more than feed them physically. It nourished them spiritually and helped reinvigorate their mission.
â??The holiday season was there and we didn't know how in the world we were going to be able to bless...but we did and when this occurred it gave us this extra motivation that intuition hey we aren't in this alone,â?� said Bishop Brewster.
So, either yesterday was the slowest news day in the history of the friggin' free world, or all you have to do to get airtime on the local Fox channel is â?¦ Hey guys, I saw Jesus in my underwear this morning! Can you get me on at 5?
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