Heaven isn't too far away

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Because there is nothing else going on, or because there are no toy stores selling dildos, or because it's sweeps and you're all suckers, Local 6 is bravely exploring whether or not you will go to heaven when you die.

To paraphrase my last post: I'm not kidding. Local 6 is this retarded.

In the first of several Local 6 reports, Central Florida religious leaders from the Muslim and Catholic faiths offered perspectives on how a person can get into heaven.

My guess? If you do what they say, you make it to the big dance in the sky. If not, enjoy the big burn.

This is truly groundbreaking and remarkable journalism.

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