This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you, Johnny


You know, we didn't want to have to go there.

See, Johnny Boy, when you said earlier that, "I've said again and again, I do not believe that Sen. Obama shares Rev. Wright's extremist views which he has stated," and promised to "disassociate myself from that kind of campaigning," we really didn't think you'd go so low as to have Palin do the dirty work for you. Now we've gotta send you to your room. But first, pull those pants down. A spanking is on its way, after the jump


Palin, the nitwit cynic-populist who has thus far failed to demonstrate a fundamental understanding of how our democracy works even at a fifth-grade level, is on the Hate Speech '08 tour right now, riling up idiot crowds in Clearwater yesterday to the point where her mention of Obama drew shouts of "Terrorist!" and "Kill him!!!" (Although Palin's path to a KKK rally was surely cleared by Lee County Mouth-Breathing Embarassment Sheriff Mike Scott, who introduced her by saying, "On Nov. 4, let's leave Barack Hussein Obama wondering what happened." Scott was followed by a local radio host, Mandy Connell, who said Obama "hangs around with terrorists.")

Palin relished the incredibly loose Obama- Bill Ayers connection (Ayers was an admitted domestic terrorist as a '60s youth and held radical anti-government views, until he, you know, GREW UP and dedicated his life to urban educational reform as Distinguished Professor at University of Illinois. Ayers is now a very influential figure in Chicago. He was one of three co-authors of the Chicago Annenberg Challenge grant for public school reform and serves on the board of directors of the Woods Fund of Chicago anti-poverty foundation. In other words, a young state senator hoping to make a difference in the inner city would want to sit down with this guy and learn a few things. Everybody got it?)

Said Palin to the crowd, "I'm afraid this is someone who sees America as imperfect enough to work with a former domestic terrorist who had targeted his own country."

Tsk tsk. Says the AP, "at the same time she embarked on a discussion of Obama's relationship with his former pastor, the Rev. Jeremiah A. Wright Jr., which Republican presidential candidate John McCain had signaled he did not want to be a part of his campaign."

Welp, Johnny Boy, sorry for your luck. She went there. So now it's time to examine your own questionable past. I think Rolling Stone covered a large part of it yesterday, in their piece about your silver-spooning, tail-chasing, plane-crashing days as a Navy pilot. But what about your involvement in the U.S. Council for World Freedom committee? Ooh, let's:

From '81 to '86, McCain sat on the board of the USCWF, founded in Arizona. It's an offshoot of the World Anti-Communist League, which had ties to ultra-right figures and Latin American death squads. Roger Pearson, chairman of the WACL, was expelled in 1980 because he was a neo-Nazi. McCain's group claimed to support "pro-Democratic resistance movements fighting communist totalitarianism." They coordinated funding efforts with sources in Taiwan and South Korea to help contras in Nicaragua purchase $5 million worth of arms. The group was charged with operating a plane that was shot down â?? hey, sound familiar, John?! â?? while flying supplies to the same rebels. The council provided $10 million - $25 million in cash and 'in-kind aid: aircraft to the contras, and boots to the Afghanistan "freedom fighters" among them.

The McCain campaign says he "disassociated himself" with the group when questions started coming up back in the '80s.

You know what? I'll give that to you, McCain. If we're playing the "guilt-by-association" game, let's agree it's a losing proposition. Any politician will eventually "pal around" with shady people. Because most politicians are shady as fuck. Let's call it a wash.

BUT ... for drudging up Wright, something you said you'd never do, it's time to get spanked.

Bend over, Johnny Boy, and take this Keating beating.

For those who maybe didn't do an 8th grade report on it like I had to, the Keating Five scandal in the '80s was, until now, the largest and most expensive example of deregulation gone horribly wrong.

In 1980, Congress passed the Depository Deregulation and Monetary Control Act, which allowed financial institutions (Savings & Loan institutions were caught up in that net - the same act allowed S&Ls to offer checkable deposits) to set their interest rates at whatever the hell they want to. S&Ls, like Charles Keating's Lincoln Savings & Loan, took off and became overnight behemoths of money. Years later, after the collapse of a housing bubble (sound familiar?) a newly Democratic Congress decided regulation might not be a bad idea.

Keating was pissed, and collected five Senators whose campaigns and personal lives he had managed to get in the pocket of, including former astronaut John Glenn and, you guessed it, John McCain, to fight the re-regulation.

On April 9, 1987, McCain and the other Five held a two-hour meeting with the Federal Home Loan Bank Board asking them to go easy on Lincoln S&L and instead of shutting it down, let it go into the home mortgage business, which they said was much safer. McCain urged the regulators to get off Keating's back. The regulators told McCain's arrogant ass that, oh yeah, it wasn't just a matter of regulation. Keating was under criminal investigation.

McCain ran scared. Keating, who helped finance McCain's first run for the House in '82, donating $112,000 to the campaign and taking he and his family on nine trips on Keating's jet (Cindy McCain also invested $359,000 in a Keating shopping center) called McCain a "wimp."

They caught him, after the government seized Lincoln S&L, costing taxpayers $2 billion, and launched a 9-month investigation into McCain and the other four senators. Three of the careers were ended. Glenn's and McCain's â?? at the insistance of ... guess who?!? ... Alaskan Sen. Ted Stevens!!, currently under investigation as we speak! â?? were saved and they were given a slap on the wrist, though the Phoenix New Times, at the investigation's conclusion, called McCain the "most reprehensible" of the bunch.

In fact, Obama's campaign has just released a 14-minute video about everything I just discussed. Damn them and their "multimedia." (You can find the big fancy infomercial below.)


So, Johnny Boy, what have we learned today? That's right, people with skeletons shouldn't throw rotting corpses. You'll just hurt your shoulder.

How's your ass? Cause my hand is stinging.

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