What a giddy joy it is to see the new GOP.com web unveiling, designed, I can only imagine, specifically to steal Obama's Health Care-victory attention today by doing something so hilariously inept that you can't help but look at them.
The new website, which crashed so hard today from neck-craning onlookers that the Obama campaignâ??s former online guru, Joe Rospars, told TPMDC: â??You know your web program is in trouble when your site canâ??t even handle the traffic bump from people making fun of your web program.â??â?�
Then GOP leader Michael Steele went on TV and said, "it's not really a web site."
Could've fooled me.
To be fair, it's not a website: It's a train wreck of desperate African-American vote-grubbing that reaches so far back into history for anything nice to say that I swear I just heard Frederick Douglass tell William Henry Harrison to "go fuck himself" for that lame-ass Haiti envoy appointment.
The first thing that struck me is the "GOP Faces" campaign (pictured above) where they show how black people love Republicans and the GOP responds in kind by making one's bald head the "O" in GOP. Nice.
The other thing you have to see is the (short) list of black people in history who were Republicans. Like so far back in history that it's in the same way Abraham Lincoln was a Republican, back when that didn't mean, you know, "Republican." In fact, Lincoln is shoved over to the second page of names to make room for more black people!
Finally, the delicious main entree: Things Republicans Did For Blacks; a friendly reminder, apparently, that the GOP deserves some payback. From "We had some black guy build us a statue and then let him look at it" in 1863, to "We freed you people" in 1864 to "We ended segregation forever" in 1957, the new GOP takes credit for all of that. Bitch.
After 1957? Ummm.... "We got rid of welfare!" Ouch. "Bush tax cuts!" *cough*. "Vouchers?" ... "Alright, we're just gonna go over here and TELL YOU JACKIE ROBINSON WAS A REPUBLICAN! Eh?"
Too bad the dancing Michael Steele has apparently been removed. Now that's entertainment. Take it away, Iron Mike!!
Oh wait, it crashed again.
We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Orlando Weekly. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Orlando Weekly, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.
Email us at email@example.com.
Support Local Journalism.
Join the Orlando Weekly Press Club
Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.
Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.
Join the Orlando Weekly Press Club for as little as $5 a month.