Although he may look like a substitute gym teacher harangued into a remedial U.S. History detention stint, in reality Gov.-elect Rick Scott would probably prefer that you not even mention the word "teacher" in his presence. Why? Because teachers are inefficient and fat, always griping about blackboard erasers and influenza, forever running to their union bosses with hangnail tears. Nope, we don't need teachers – or any of the necessary socialization that comes along with the public education experience – not when we can have the big Double-V: virtual schools and vouchers. According to a Mother Jones piece posted this morning, details of Scott's miseducation plan are starting to roll out and they look exactly like the robot excrement you might expect from a disgraced executive automaton. It's a big mess of privatization and payouts, apparently, one that could see parents getting an annual $5,500 check to cover the learning needs of their own spawn; the rich will naturally win out because "private" schools will simply up the ante, while the poor will have to settle for a sort of mass-market education or a laptop. For a state that already ranks at the bottom of just about every education list, this can only be good news. Now we won't be on any lists. Congratulations, Florida.