Breaking: That wasn't a pin dropping. That was Teresa Jacobs killing the performing arts center!

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Wow!!! So, following our exploration of recent rumors that Orange County Mayor Teresa Jacobs might be cottoning to the Kool-Aid of DPAC and throwing the flailing development enterprise rope this week comes the news that Jacobs is actually more fond of wielding her scissors! In a scathing memo issued just over an hour ago, Jacobs clarifies the county's position – which is not unlike our own critique a year ago, we told you so, etc. – calling out DPAC, the city of Orlando and various architects and contractors for basically running a fraudulent operation meant to keep ladies in Chanel happy. Jacobs enlisted the sharp eyes of her comptrollers and accountability officers to proceed with an investigation into the ins and outs of four years of contract signing (meaning: dinner parties). To wit: The city does not have the money to hold up its $30 million contribution, donations suck, the acoustic hall isn't even really in the cards, the economy has tanked, the bidding process was flawed, bonds are tanking and there is no real operating budget. So, basically all of these years of gladhanding and number-spitting have been barely enough to open a lemonade stand, much less a world-class city treasure. Not enough for you? The screed goes on to outline some bad business practices by the organization, including but not limited to: paying a contractor $1,000 a month for a car (plus gas and oil!), rewarding 20 percent bonuses, wild-eyed cost mark-ups and a failure to actually entertain the bids from cheaper companies for what is effectively a public project. This whole thing is a shambles.

"In summary, it appears at this time that this is a deeply flawed project from both a contractual and construction/design cost standpoint," the scolding concludes. "If the identified problems are not fixed and/or addressed now, the project cannot be built in all probability with any confidence that taxpayer money will be spent effectively and efficiently."

Meanwhile, DPAC and Mayor Buddy Dyer are, as we speak, telling whoever will listen to them that the project will break ground in a couple of months. Delusions have never been grande(u)r.

Holy crap. Read the whole document below, and try not to let the performers hear your candy unwrapping:

DYER, BUDDY 02-10-11 Performing Arts Center Issues

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