by William Goss
I trust that, if you're reading this, you've experienced an obnoxious moviegoer or two in your time. We all have, and we've all dealt with them in our own ways -- hopefully, none nearly as rash as the methods of a 27-year-old Latvian man who felt a 42-year-old audience member had been chewing his popcorn far too loudly at a showing of Black Swan and decided to shoot him. CORRECTION: It now appears that the shooter may have been the one doing the chewing before turning his gun on a complaining neighbor. Yikes.
I was going to ask for your most uncomfortable moviegoing experiences (and your anecdotes won't go refused), but instead of trivializing the matter even further, we welcome everyone to share their most foolproof methods of contending with noisy strangers in a dark room. Y'know, besides chucking pennies from the back row.