Because we all had night terrors in which New Kid Donnie Wahlberg saved our 17th birthday party – it was a calamity, y’all, and he was awesome – there ought to be some cynicism buffer surrounding the recently revived New Kids on the Block Chippendales Variety Show. However, the union of one proto-boy band concern with another (four out of five Backstreet Boys agree) in the name of acronym exploitation does leave at least three pairs of acid-washed jean shorts to be desired, if only for its vague scent of drugstore cologne and desperation. For those who choose to see their lives as Top 40 medleys with thrusting hand choreography, this workmanlike development – the two biggest boy bands ever, now available for themed cruises – is nonetheless a shameless enterprise, but not necessarily one to be ashamed of. Nobody’s falsely hiding behind any notion of artistic merit; it is what it is: a pin-up revue. You want it that way? You got it (the right stuff). – Billy Manes (with Midnight Red, Matthew Morrison; 7 p.m. at Amway Center, 400 W. Church St.; $40-$105; 407-440-7000; amwaycenter.com)
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