by Rob Boylan
Well, in a panic of unmitigated boredom this week I did something I never thought I'd do: I watched Twilight.
Yes, the magic of the Kristin Stewart lip bite and the wondrous enchanted forest that is Robert Pattinson's hair finally came alive for me.
No... it really didn't. I figured I would give it the same benefit of the doubt that I gave Harry Potter when the first movie came out, but my issue with Harry Potter was always the annoying yenta mom's calling twelve times a day when I worked at Blockbuster to see if we had any new Harry Potter stuff in and the craziness that ensued when we actually did unload the new boxes or Bertie Bot's Every Flavor Beans or Hagrid gumball dispensers. They were so maddening that I hated everything Potter related on the principal that if these people could love it so much, I could not. (Of course, it was their children who didn't bother me constantly who loved it, not them.)
But while I found a lot to like about Harry Potter -- even some of the more silly high school angsty/drama stuff -- I really didn't find anything about Twilight to like. I know, I know, I'm so late to the party that I probably sound like an idiot, so I'll spare you, but really, this is the kind of thing one has to get off of their chest.
So to wash away the horror I got 8 1/2 on bluray from Netflix (yes, I went back) and will shortly start digging into the special features that I haven't seen since the first time I rented the 8 1/2 DVD probably eight or nine years ago.
Anyway, onto the links.
-So, Magic fans... if you care about his next adventure, Shaq is going to film school. The embarrassing part is that he didn't choose Full Sail, where his gold records hang in the hallway. (Seriously, they do.)
-Back to the Future co-writer Bob Gale explains the Marty McFly/Doc Brown relationship to mental_floss. Personally, I always try to avoid holding BTTF up to a logic standard and just enjoy it obsess over it for what it is.
-I'm 100% behind the idea of bringing back The Critic to television (not that it'll happen), but I'd rather it stay an animated series (hand drawn!) than be live action. Most of the comedy was cartoon comedy and wouldn't translate, so as a live action it doesn't make sense.
-The Gothamist has some highlights of that Big Lebowski reunion in NYC the other night. Gotta love Steve Buscemi, who immediately said to the crowd, "First of all, YOU shut the fuck up!"
-Here's a little tidbit of Tintin news via Renny Harlin for you Spielberg haters out there.
-Sigh. No more Taylor Momsen movies. I'm crushed. She had hit after glorious hit. The makers of electrical tape will be happy she is focused on her tit-flash gimmick -- I mean, band. (She's 18 now, but you'll have to search Egotastic for that one for yourselves.)
-Kevin Smith's final film* Hit Me is going to be two parts. I really don't want him making a dick and fart joke movie about my favorite sport. His NHL.com blog posts (until they canned him) and NHL Live appearances were bad enough.
-The Guardian's Phelim O'Neill on the banner film year that was 1982 and why it's being regurgitated back at us.
-Vulture premiers the poster for Lars Von Trier's Melancholia, which is just all kinds of great.
-I'm linking these next two articles without having read them because I'm over my 20 article limit at the NYT on both my computer and my iPhone, but they look interesting nonetheless:
-Here is the trailer for Hysteria, the quaint English comedy about the invention of vibrator. Initially I thought it could be fun, but on second thought, I don't know that even the dry British wit can sustain cunnilingus jokes for two hours (partially because of the non-comedic Americans in the film).
-I'm not sure who asked for it, but Ghost Rider II is coming right at us.
-If you showed me this trailer without credits I never would have guessed it was Roman Polanski's Carnage in a million years.
*Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was also supposed to be the "final" View Askew movie too, so we'll see.