by Rob Boylan
Billy Crystal? Really? Sure, he's done it before without it being a disaster, but the man is clearly better in small doses, or at least with Whoopie and Robin Williams and a complimentary bowl of cocaine in the green room. Maybe it was a timing issue, but it's still five months away. Anyone they got would have had plenty of time to figure their shit out.
And that's why it should have been The Muppets. Kermit and Piggy opening, and Fozzy and Rolf, and Skeeter and Scooter, and Bunson and Beeker, and Gonzo and Animal along the way.
How great would it have been to have Statler and Waldorf as the evening's closers? In an actual balcony with some nervous starlets behind them?
Oh, Oscarcast bigwigs, you dropped the ball on this one, my friends. Yes, the Jason Segal film looks a little soft, but the Muppets themselves have cachet beyond this moment. They are timeless personalities, like Bob Hope and Johnny Carson, just as funny the 10th time you've heard their shtick as the first time.
-Over at Andrew Breitbart's Big Hollywood, the Brett Ratner incident is broken down ever so perceptively: it's all the left's fault. For being McCarthyistic fascists. Shame on you, the left. You've already ruined Mel Gibson's career and stepped on his God-given freedom to call people sugar tits and blame the jews. When will you learn to stop muzzling these good people? You make me so sick, the left. Get a job already. A blog is not a job... wait, never mind that last part. (Big Hollywood)
-Just to pile onto the Ridiculous Right for a moment, there is one last Epic Fair for Paul Johansson's adaptation of Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged. (Cinema Blend)
-Check out some on set stills from The Dark Knight Rises. (Egotastic)
-BestWeekEver gives us their top 10 Andy Rooney rants. Number 8 is kind of heartbreaking. (BestWeekEver.tv)
-I'm not fan of post-credit scenes either (the one after X-Men 3 was particularly annoying), but it really bothers me that Kirsten Dunst feels like it's a waste of time to sit through the credits of a movie. I guess when your name comes first, that's all that matters. (IFC)
-I gotta say, "Princess Di" isn't the first image that pops into my head when I see Jessica Chastain. Maybe it's just the red hair throwing me off? Regardless, I will see this. But if you asked me who she should play, facially, she is almost the spitting image of Liv Ullmann, especially her jawline. Now find someone who can play Ingmar and make that movie. (TOH/IndieWire)
-EW has some stills of Tim Burton's new version of Frankenweenie. I just hope he leaves Vincent alone, because it's perfect as it is. (EW)
-Here's an interview with Charlotte Gainsbourg about Melancholia (opens at the Enzian Dec 2nd). Sadly, she didn't have a return volley to Kirsten Dunst's boob comparison. (Movieline)
-Oscar-winning screenwriter Dustin Lance Black (Milk) on adapting Hoover's life into J. Edgar. (SFGate)
-I don't like the extrapolation path on this one. I will mourn the day when physical media disappears just because kids today can't be bothered to have possessions any longer. (NY Times)
-Ever wonder what happens to that $10 after you plunk it down at the movie theater? (John August)
-Here is a profile of Alexander Payne, whose Clooney-starrer, The Descendents, comes out this week. (NY Times)
-Are you ready for it? Get set... because here is the trailer for Star Wars -Episode I: The Phantom Dimension. That flanneled son of a bitch is going to make another billion dollars off of this. (Apple)
-So, there is something interesting at the bottom of the Episode I 3D posters. Apparently it is going to be accompanied by a 2D re-release as well. This makes it all worth while, honestly. (Cinema Blend)
-Here is the new poster for Cameron Crowe's We Bought a Zoo. The movie looks awful, but that's a poster to be proud of right there. (The Uncool)
-Snow White and the Huntsman. (Trailer Addict)
-If you haven't seen the nine minute short film Rosa, you probably should do that now. (Vimeo)