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If back in our wallet-chained days of coke parties and My So-Called Life squinches of passive aggression, someone said that we’d be facing a glut of “cheesy” ’90s-themed nights in two decades, we’d probably shove them (or go down on them in the theater). But here we are in 2013, a little too worn down for the nostalgia treadmill, watching our sound-tracked lives pass before us in painful repetition with bouncing people. Alas, there is an alternative antidote, or at least that’s what event organizer DJ Smilin’ Dan would have us believe. Return to the Nineties promises to be ripe with the genuine good stuff from the slacker decade, including only the authenticity you want to remember: college radio curation, MTV’s 120 Minutes fare, dirty fingernails and bad decisions. As a bonus, The Boondock Saints and True Romance will be projected in the background, because, well, we were all Patricia Arquette once. – Billy Manes
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