Because most of us are spending our turkey-baster days pretending to be thankful for family bonds while simultaneously sneaking regret-swigs of fruity liqueurs from dusty old grandma wet bars – or simply because WE CAN ALL USE A NOSTALGIC DISTRACTION NOW AND AGAIN – we’re taking an ill-advised gander back at our favorite published diaries of Billy Manes’ weekly demise. You should come with! Below are some of our favorite Blister columns (the wildly popular back-pager that ran from 2004-2010), most of which still make no sense devoid of temporal context, and so it is that they make perfect sense forever.

(For a complete list of old Blister columns to lose your whole day on, go here!)

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