13 weird stories that DIDN'T happen in Florida in 2014

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According to the Internet, Florida is the only state where weird shit happens. I beg to differ. I present to you exhibits A-M:

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Exhibit A: An Oklahoma man gave his step-father an atomic wedgie ... and killed him!

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Exhibit B: An Oregon couple leaves an unusual tip for their waitress ... meth!

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Exhibit C:  A Kentucky man escaped from prison on Sunday, only to turn himself in on Monday ... because he was cold.

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Exhibit D: A Phoenix man gets busted trying to smuggle a woman into the country in his suitcase.

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Exhibit E: A grandmother in Memphis called 911 with a beer emergency.

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Exhibit F: Two Des Moines brothers got in a knife fight over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

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Exhibit G: A Barre, Vt., man robs a liquor store, wearing the most painful disguise ever.

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Exhibit H: In Santa Fe, Jennifer McCarthy scuffled over aliens, then pulled a gun from her vagina.

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Exhibit I: A man in Iowa City was so drunk that the breathalyzer threw up its hands, only reading, "HI."

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Exhibit J: A Connecticut man really needed potassium after crashing into a gas station, stole one banana.

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Exhibit K: Firefighters and cops in NYC pretend to be crazy in hopes of a $500,000 payday.

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Exhibit L: Possibly insane man goes surfing in Minnesota ... in January.

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Exhibit M: Firefighters in Nebraska accidentally make something beautiful when putting out a fire.

Not that we're completely innocent when it comes to judging our dumb state.

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