Trying not to fail on National Plant a Flower Day



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That big mysterious national day machine has deemed today "National Plant a Flower Day." If you're anything like me, you need all the help you can get in the gardening department. Look, I kill plants. Plants that people say, "You absolutely cannot kill this." Cactii, mint. I kill all of it. But, I like celebrating made up holidays, so, I consulted the great and powerful Internet to see how I could be most successful on National Plant a Flower Day.

Florida-Friendly Landscaping took me through some steps to decide which flowers were best for planting in Central Florida. I felt like someone who didn't know how to read a recipe. Just like creaming butter is something I just know how to do instinctively, I am sure there are people out there who know the differences between the types of soil. Like, I think my soil is kind of sandy? I know it's not clay-y, because I grew up in Georgia. That's the clay I know. But, what the hell is loamy?

After completing the steps, which included the aforementioned soil-choosing, as well as other things like light range (partial sun) and flower type (annual), the Florida-Friendly Landscaping decided that there was really only one flower I should attempt to grow on National Plant a Flower Day ... and it's a weed. Granted, it's a weed that smells beautifully and attracts butterflies, but still, I can apparently only be trusted to grow a weed. Someone must have warned them about me.

Maybe I should just toss around some seed bombs in my yard a la the do-nothing gardner and see if they stick.