It's a story as old as time: man and woman visit McDonald's in a 1994 El Dorado. Woman insists man buys her a McFlurry. Man denies this request. Woman, vexed, walks back to 1994 El Dorado, douses vehicle with flammable liquids and sets vehicle ablaze. Woman disappears through nearby parking lot as man and other McDonald's customers attempt to extinguish blaze. Car is engulfed in flames by time fire department arrives but apparently still drivable as man pilots torched El Dorado off premises. McDonald's loses two-dollar sale but earns amazing advertising sting: "Ice cream so good you'll torch someone's car just to get one."
Thankfully this incident happened up in Jacksonville, but you really can't be too careful around any McDonald's in March. This is, after all, the birthday month of that nefarious Hamburglar (he turns 43 this year). Stay vigilant, and always heed his warning of "robble robble."