THERE IS APPARENTLY NOBODY WORSE IN THE WORLD THAN EXENE CERVENKA. BURNING ALL MY X RECORDS NOW: “Exene Cervenka, singer for 80?s punk icons X, just upset a whole mess of people this afternoon (May 28) with a series of tweets aimed at exposing last week’s Santa Barbara shooting as a hoax. The 58-year-old frontwoman has added herself to the list of “truthers” who believe Elliot Rodger was just another bad actor in a long line of well-produced hoaxes, which include the Boston Marathon bombings and the attack on the World Trade Center. Calling herself a “Conspiracy Therapist,” Cervenka digs into Elliot Rodger’s videos and various news reports in order to find incongruities. Several videos added to her YouTube channel playlist today that back up the theory that Rodgers manifesto videos were filmed in a studio. “No one died and no one got hurt. The story is 100% fabricated from start to finish,” claims one YouTube truther.” (via Radio.com)
SOMEONE LUCKED OUT.
IF ONLY THIS WEREN’T TRUE: “In the days following a violent rampage in southern California in which a lone attacker killed seven individuals, including himself, and seriously injured over a dozen others, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mass killing routinely occurs reportedly concluded Tuesday that there was no way to prevent the massacre from taking place. “This was a terrible tragedy, but sometimes these things just happen and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop them,” said North Carolina resident Samuel Wipper, echoing sentiments expressed by tens of millions of individuals who reside in a nation where over half of the world’s deadliest mass shootings have occurred in the past 50 years and whose citizens are 20 times more likely to die of gun violence than those of other developed nations. “It’s a shame, but what can we do? There really wasn’t anything that was going to keep this guy from snapping and killing a lot of people if that’s what he really wanted.” At press time, residents of the only economically advanced nation in the world where roughly two mass shootings have occurred every month for the past five years were referring to themselves and their situation as “helpless.” (via The Onion)
THE ASSHOLES ARE DYING, THE ASSHOLES ARE DYING: “Fox News's ratings among 25- to 54-year-olds is the lowest it's been in 12 years, even as the cable channel remains the highest-watched of all its competitors. In May, Fox News attracted an average of 264,000 primetime viewers in that key demographic. The last time their 25-54 ratings were so low for a single month was August of 2001, or just before the September 11th attacks. Although Fox News's individual shows continue to win out over their competitors, May produced decade-low numbers for their primetime and morning hosts, particularly in the 25-54 demographic used by advertisers. And that's why those figures matter so much: Fox News's audience is still relatively huge, but it's taking in smaller numbers of the only viewers ad buyers pay attention to. The New York Times took a look at the results for Bill O'Reilly's show, which remains popular with overall audience of 2.1 million viewers. But in the key demographic, he averaged just 313,000 viewers, a small percentage of his overall pull. His show's median viewer age is now 72.1, which is a high. That's part of a trend. Fox News's viewership is aging out of that key demographic, even as the overall median age of cable news viewers remains high: the median ages for the three cable networks in May were 62.5 (MSNBC), 62.8 (CNN), and 68.8 (Fox News).” (via thewire.com)
ALWAYS TRUST THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!: “Beyoncé slid into the limousine after Solange. The bodyguard slammed the door shut, banged on the roof, and the car pulled smoothly out into traffic, away from the Met Gala ball. Jay could find his own damn way home. The two sisters sat in the back of the car in icy silence as the city lights floated away behind them. They could hear the radio soft and low in the front seat, the driver listening to Drake. Beyoncé reached over and pushed the button that slid the partition up, blocking them off from the driver. Knowing they were thinking the same thing, Beyoncé looked over at her sister and made a weird face. Even despite the adrenaline and waves of anger coursing through her veins, Solange couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. That damn line. Every single time. They could not ride in a limo without laughing about it now. But the moment quickly passed and her outrage returned. “You just stood there. I was defending you.” “Do I need defending?” “That’s not the point. He is a monster.” “He is my husband.” Beyoncé looked away, out the window at the people and the buildings, as they sped across 59th St. “I know who I married. That was my decision and I’ll live with it.” “Of course you take his side.” “Excuse me?” Beyoncé turned to face her sister. “Beyoncé is on Beyoncé’s side. Always. Trust that.” Solange said nothing. Now it was her turn to look away.” (via Medium.com)
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