Photo via Pam Bondi/Instagram
Pam and her giant dog "Cool Paw Luke"
Back in December, I sent an Instagram follow request to Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi's private account
knowing damn well I would never break into this exclusive club. All I knew was whatever she had hidden behind those privacy settings, it had to be something amazing. Sandwiches? Sunsets? Golf outings with Donald Trump? The sky was the limit.
Then, out of the blue, I got a notification that Pam Bondi had accepted my friend request. That's right. Me, Colin Wolf, an official follower of Pam Bondi's Instagram account.
What this means is she more than likely had to have said to herself "This guy's avatar seem perfectly fine. I accept this random muscle-bound dude's request."
I don't even know where my avatar photo came from, or who that person is
Because I am now a member of this exclusive club, and you are not. I'm here to report to you all that her feed is incredibly basic. For starters, it's mostly dogs. Like, 80 percent dogs.
To be specific, if she's not snapping photos of one of her own dogs (she has many), she's posting photos of other people's dogs and shelter dogs, which, to be fair, is always a noble cause.
Here she is parading an adoptable pooch with Florida Gov. Rick Scott. He looks thrilled.
And, here is what I would assume is Bondi's entire pack (minus her gigantic dog pictured above, "Cool Paw Luke").
So, if Pam Bondi's Instagram is 80 percent dogs, what about the other 20 percent? Well, it's exactly what you think it is: fundraisers, campaign photo-ops, a lot of white people, and of course, Republican selfies, baby!
Here are some of the better ones.
Truly fascinating stuff, really.
That's it for now, but you can bet your ass that I'll be reporting to you all from the inside, at least until I get blocked.