In a couple of weeks, MTV will debut a new Florida-based, half-scripted "reality" show called Siesta Key, and based on the first full trailer it's ... uh, well, it's an actual thing that exists.
The brief trailer doesn't offer much real insight into what the show is all about, but it does feature sun-washed shots of parties, bikinis, white privilege, cool boats, over-the-top mansions, board shorts, muscle bros, and one seemingly chill minority.
Here's what we know from the trailer's text overlay: "Imagine a place where everything is possible. This summer, paradise is heating up." This is obviously referring to Siesta Key, a small beach town on a 3.5-mile stretch of barrier island in Sarasota County. Though Florida is currently witnessing the warmest start to a year since 1990, the "heating up" part is probably referring to relationships, more specifically summertime "let's go out on my dad's boat" relationships.
Only four complete sentences are said in the entire trailer, so let's just break 'em all down:
"Summer in Siesta Key is like no other, trust me," says a blonde. It's true. Siesta Key was recently named the No. 1 beach in America by Dr. Beach.
"This summer, anything can happen," says another blonde. This blonde person makes a great point; things can happen in the summer ... or really during any other time of the year as well.
"I'm going out with Juliette, Romeo and Juliette,"says some horny guy. This is obviously a reference to the William Shakespeare characters that commit teen suicide, but I think it's safe to assume this is completely lost on them. Just about the only thing we know for sure, and the only thing that makes any sense in this trailer, is that one of the characters will be going out with a girl named Juliette.
"She really cares about you and you obviously care about her," says another blonde. This is our first hint at some possible drama; does this unnamed dude know that "she" cares about him? It's hard to say, but it would appear the show will have a little romantic tug-o-war.
The show is produced by the wealthy chiropractor behind those "1-800-Ask-Gary" commercials, Dr. Gary Kompothecras, and centers on his 22-year-old son Alex, reports the Tampa Bay Times.
"My dad had some buddies come to town, and I took them out fishing," Alex said to the Times. "They thought our lifestyle was pretty unique. I kept hearing, 'You need to do a show.' Then my dad called a small production company to help do the pilot."