In a bold move, the Holy Land Experience announced a slew of new food offerings for park guests, including a trendy Body of Christ poke bowl.
The new poke bowl, which comes with fresh ahi tuna, avocado, carrots, mango, edamame, pickled ginger and lots of extra sriracha, is just one part of a massive food revamp at the Trinity Network-owned amusement park.
Other new menu offerings include the Noah's Ark bao buns, which feature two of every animal, and new Latin flavors like the "He's Got the Whole World (in This Craft Taco)."
"Look, guests at the Holy Land Experience demand the best. They want fresh, new and exciting flavors," says food director Jakus Smith. Season pass-holders can relax – Smith says the new menu will still include fan favorites like the "Father, Son and the Holy Turkey Leg," and the "He is Raisin bread."
This story is 100 percent satire. Nothing you read here is remotely true. Happy April Fools' Day.