The Villages now offers complimentary Bang Bus



After years of overwhelming comment card demands, Florida’s most active senior citizen retirement community is finally adding a complimentary Bang Bus to its grounds.

“At first we had liability concerns about adding a Bang Bus to The Villages,” says Eunice Plorkin, The Villages Head of Marketing. “But then a resident pointed out that we’ve never given a shit about any type of liability, so we may as well all buckle up and get down!”

Plorkin stresses that the new Bang Bus is just an expansion of the many ways that The Villages already services senior citizens. “Whether they’re coming, or going, or going to start coming while they’re going, our community feels that this is a natural extension of what’s already offered here.”

At press time the Bang Bus was idling in the parking lot in front of The Villages Welcome Center, waiting for an angry group of protesting janitorial staff to completely give up hope.

This story is 100 percent satire. Nothing you read here is remotely true. Happy April Fools' Day.

Consider supporting local journalism.
Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of Central Florida. Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep Orlando’s true free press free.