Marco Rubio, the knowledgeable football man


Florida Senator Marco Rubio, a guy who once casually beaned a kid in the face with a football, has recently been peddling a string of unfounded conspiracy theories regarding the recent Florida recounts. Now it seems these crackpot theories have now morphed into incredibly horrible football metaphors.

Last night, Rubio introduced the world to the "3 point kick" while venting to Twitter that Democrats are somehow trying to change the ballot rules in order to win elections in Florida, which they aren't.

"Imagine if NFL team was trailing 24-22 but in final seconds hits a 3 pt kick to win. Then AFTER game lawyers for losing team get a judge to order rules changed so that last second field goals are only 1 point. Well that’s how democrat lawyers plan to steal #Florida election," said Rubio in just one of four profoundly stupid tweets.   
Naturally, Rubio has been thoroughly roasted by football Twitter. 
Of course, Rubio has since defended this tweet by arguing not everyone who's into politics knows about field goals.

"I am being roasted for ‘3 pt kick’ tweet about election? Why? You think everyone who follows politics knows what a field goal is? Besides, it’s absurd to claim I don’t know what a field goal is... that’s all my Dolphins have scored for 9 straight quarters," said Rubio, a man who also enjoys other exciting football maneuvers like the 6 point endzone entering play, and the old boot the ball as far as possible to begin the game kicking motion.

Coincidentally, back in July, Rubio complained to TMZ that sports and politics shouldn't be intertwined, and that he wishes he could just spend Sunday afternoons watching the NFL and not be reminded of the horrifying hellscape he helped create.

Stay on top of Orlando news and views. Sign up for our weekly Headlines newsletter. 

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Orlando Weekly. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Orlando Weekly, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at

Orlando Weekly works for you, and your support is essential.

Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of Central Florida.

Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep Orlando’s true free press free.