Local dolt fails to rob Casselberry Arby's

by

comment
PHOTO VIA GOOGLE MAPS
  • Photo via Google Maps
Arby's, a fast food chain that famously and unapologetically "has the meats," is apparently a difficult place to rob, especially if you're an absolute dolt.

Last month, a bold yet bumbling doofus attempted and failed to pull off the biggest heist in the history of Seminole County. Yes, someone tried to rob the Casselberry Arby's.



On Dec. 26, the unmasked suspect broke into the Arby's, located at 1436 State Road 436 next to Ross Dress for Less, and for four straight hours managed to completely botch the heist in every way possible. 
IMAGE VIA CASSELBERRY POLICE DEPARTMENT
  • Image via Casselberry Police Department
According to the Casselberry Police Department, the suspect entered the Arby's at around 1:50 a.m. After disabling the security system, he then left the store, returned hours later with a blowtorch, and then attempted to bust open the safe until he eventually gave up at around 6 a.m. 

Defeated, the suspect left the impenetrable meat fortress empty-handed. 



"It's a little out of the ordinary," said Casselberry Police Commander William Nas to WKMG. "A lot of times, we get someone who will run out with a cash register or a smash-and-grab and take off, but to spend time in there to try to break into the safe is intense."

Authorities believe the suspect, described as a "possibly hispanic light skinned male," is the same guy who used a blowtorch to steal $1,600 from the safe at the Altamonte Springs Chipotle back in July.

Of course, now media outlets are calling him the "Blowtorch Burglar," which is an undeserved nickname, because it sounds cool and this guy isn't. Sorry, but this dumbskull deserves no glory for sucking at robbing an Arby's. Not only did he not have a mask, but he didn't even think to bring the damn blowtorch, even after the Chipotle job. 

Anyway, do you know this guy? Do you know anyone dumb enough to spend four hours laboring away inside an Arby's for a negligible amount of cash, and not even leave with a Classic Beef 'N Cheddar?

Send any hot tips to either the Casselberry or Altamonte Springs police departments, or call the Crimeline at 1-800-423-TIPS.
IMAGE VIA CASSELBERRY POLICE DEPARTMENT
  • Image via Casselberry Police Department
Stay on top of Orlando news and views. Sign up for our weekly Headlines newsletter. 

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Orlando Weekly. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Orlando Weekly, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at feedback@orlandoweekly.com.

Orlando Weekly works for you, and your support is essential.

Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of Central Florida.

Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep Orlando’s true free press free.