Arts & Culture » Arts Stories & Interviews

10 things women learn about men by watching "The Man Show"

by

comment

1. Always know where to find his remote control and beer. It's a truism advanced by Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Corolla, the hosts of Comedy Central's testosterone-laden favorite -- a show described as "an unapologetic look at things men like, do and think" -- that you never know when you might be useful to him for something other than sex.

2. Sit on a copy machine for him and give him a picture of your buttocks. We don't know why. It just works.

3. He doesn't care what you saw on Oprah. It's probably best to keep that between you and your girlfriends unless you want to hear him chanting "ziggy ziggy zah" all night long.

4. Show him how much you love to sweat around the house by cleaning in a bikini. Something about the cleavage/cleanser combination makes the masculine mind perceive his home to be more hospitable.

5. Male flatulence = good. Flatulence is one of the bewildering events that men always seem to enjoy amongst others of their own sex. (It's even incorporated into the show's theme song, which rhymes "Quit your job and light a fart" with "Yank your favorite private part!")

6. If you have a gathering of girlfriends, be sure to dress in theme. Some ideas to try: nurses, cowgirls, cops, cheerleaders, bandits or beach bunnies.

7. Gyna-nada. Never ... ever ... should you share what's going on down there. Unless, of course, it involves something fruity or covered in beer.

8. Do not question his laundry. There is no logical explanation as to why he only has two pairs of boxers for a week's worth of laundry. It's best to leave such mysteries unknown.

9. Do not drive. No matter how fast or slow you go, it will never be with the same precision that a man displays. This also keeps you readily available to, er, find that pen he dropped under the steering wheel.

10. Jump on trampolines as often as possible. It is also encouraged that you make squeaking and giggling noises while you bounce. Don't forget your short skirt and tight shirt!

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Orlando Weekly. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Orlando Weekly, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at feedback@orlandoweekly.com.

Orlando Weekly works for you, and your support is essential.

Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of Central Florida.

Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep Orlando’s true free press free.