Too self-conscious to admit you don't know your shatter from your wax? Wondering why the hell everything from iced tea to sheet masks is "CBD-infused" all of a sudden? Not willing to risk a Google search on any of this? We got you, bud.
420: There are myriad legends as to how "420" became stoner slang, but no, it's not a police code for "marijuana smoking in progress" and it's got nothing to do with Hitler's birthday. Feel free to light up a doob and dive into this 1970s-era internet rabbit hole (hint: The Grateful Dead are involved, naturally).
Blunt: A hollowed-out cigar that is refilled with cannabis, not the manner in which your wife talks to you when asking you to do the dishes.
Bogart: To monopolize; to be bad at sharing; not following the sacred stoner credo of "puff, puff, pass." (regional variations: kype, scype, D-block)
Bong: A glass pipe that uses water to cool smoke as you inhale. Could double as a flower vase when your parents visit but you're not fooling anyone.
Bowl: The part of the smoking apparatus where the marijuana flower is placed. Equally applied to apples, crushed pop cans, bongs or pipes.
Bud: The actual flower of the marijuana plant. Also: a friend who doesn't bogart your joint.
Budtender: A dispensary employee.
Cannabidiol (CBD): A non-psychoactive compound in cannabis that can be used for various purposes including relief of pain, seizures and arthritis.
Cannabinoid: Chemical compounds that are unique to cannabis, such as THC, CBD, etc. There are well over 100 known, with varying effects. Ask your budtender for more info.
Cannabis: A plant genus producing a species of flowering plants including Cannabis indica, Cannabis ruderalis, and Cannabis sativa.
Cheeba: Slang for marijuana. Also a type of black, sticky Brazilian bud.
Concentrate: Type of refined product from marijuana flowers resulting in a more potent result; i.e. hash (aka hashish), kief (aka kif), shatter, wax.
Cotton Mouth: One of the more annoying and relatively harmless side effects of marijuana consumption that leaves the roof of your mouth feeling like cotton.
Dab: Small quantity of concentrate consumed by dabbing: applying a heat source to the concentrate.
Dank: Term for potent, high-quality marijuana; also used to refer to something really cool in pot terms.
Decarboxylate: Process of heating marijuana flower at a low temperature to convert it from an "inactive" state to "active"; deployed when making edibles
Dispensary: State-licensed store that sells marijuana in multiple forms and the associated paraphernalia. You might run into your pizza delivery guy there. Or your kid's kindergarten teacher.
Distillate: Nicknamed "the pure," a colorless, odorless, tasteless concentrate that is nearly 100% THC.
Dosing: Process of matching the volume of THC to be consumed with desired outcome and effect.
Edible: Marijuana-infused food product; includes brownies, gummies, salad dressing, macaroni and cheese, popcorn or pretty much anything you could want to snack on.
Grinder: Device used for breaking down marijuana product into small bits for rolling joints, packing bowls, etc. Emphasize the "e" when asking to borrow a friend's.
Green Out: Consuming too much cannabis, resulting in negative effects such as nausea, anxiety, paranoia.
Hemp: Part of the Cannabis sativa family, a plant containing almost no THC; used to make food, paper, fuel, rope and hippie underwear.
Indica: Marijuana plant whose effects are associated with relaxation, pain relief, assisting sleep; the "more chill" effects. The saxophone of the pot family.
MMJ Card: Medical marijuana card issued to patients who have obtained the clearance to legally consume marijuana.
Medicated: Term used in the medical community to refer to using marijuana to treat a multitude of symptoms and illnesses; intended to remove "stoner" stigma associated with marijuana usage.
Microdosing: Process of consuming very small amounts of THC for optimal effect and delimited psychoactive effects. Most often refers to someone using small amounts throughout the day to stay mildly stoned but still able to function. See "third-wave barista" or "downtown bouncer."
Sativa: Marijuana plant whose properties are associated with more energetic, uplifting effects; often used in treating depression.
Shatter: Highly potent result of applying butane to marijuana plant that's pressed into a thin sheet that breaks like glass.
Strain: Term for a particular kind of plant type; there are hundreds of marijuana strains due to crossbreeding and most have fun names, like alternative My Little Ponies. Common commercial strains are OG Kush, Girl Scout Cookies and Blue Dream.
Terpenes: The chemical compounds that give plants distinct flavors and smells.
THC: Tetrahydrocannabinol, the chemical compound in marijuana that produces the psychoactive or "high" effect.
Tincture: Liquid form of marijuana, usually in an alcohol or glycerin base; typically administered directly under the tongue via a dropper. Tinctures typically give similar effects to an edible, but quicker. Forget brownies and use a tincture if you're trying to lose weight without giving up the pot.
Vape: To consume marijuana through a vaporizer; similar to but different from smoking. Oil is heated to combustion point, then the vapor is inhaled. Popular for public use due to its portability and lack of odor. Damn kids.