Opening this week:
Director Mike Flanagan has promised that his take on the continuing adventures of Danny Torrance will be faithful to both the Stephen King novel and Stanley Kubrick's largely divergent Shining universe. Shyeah, right. Then maybe he'll cure gout. Still, you gotta admire a guy for attempting the seemingly impossible, especially when it entails following in the snowy footsteps of one of the most fanatically revered filmmakers in history. I guess we'll know this film is a success if, one year from now, some Reddit user posts a detailed rundown of scenes in the movie that prove Flanagan helped the Pentagon fake the Baghdadi killing. (R)
Here's a nice diversion from my annual ritual of having to defend Love, Actually: having to defend another holiday romcom that features Emma Thompson. This one's inspired by the ubiquitous George Michael song of the same name. You know what? I think Love, Actually needs all my energy again this year. And next year too, if anybody has any bright ideas that involve Paul McCartney. (PG-13)
OK, look. We've already had a movie with this title. It came out in 1976, as a showcase for the Sensurround audio system that was all the rage at the time. And what it taught me was that war may or may not be hell, but it's definitely damned annoying. This new take on the titular World War II battle doesn't have any kind of subwoofer-rattling stunt apparatus to put butts in seats and then shake them loose. But it does have Roland Emmerich in the director's chair, and he's kind of a human stunt himself. So you probably want to bring a change of undies anyway, just in case. (PG-13)
Playing With Fire
You know, I had been wondering if the genre of "big tough guys have to handle a bunch of unruly kids" was a thing of the past. Apparently not, because here come John Cena, John Leguizamo and Keegan-Michael Key as firefighters who learn that babysitting might be the most dangerous pursuit of all. A few years ago, when Key & Peele was still on the air, I predicted that Key would be picking up a Best Actor Oscar within five years. Peele, I wasn't sure about. He seemed like a nice guy and all, but probably destined to be the John Oates of the act. Boy, can I read me some tea leaves or what? (PG)
The latest installment in the Hindi comedy franchise sees three sets of lovers reincarnated 600 years after their initial meeting – only now they're all in danger of marrying the wrong person! Behind the scenes, the movie lost its initial director and one of its actors due to accusations of sexual harassment, all on the way to cobbling together a finished product that Mashable India called "nothing but 2.5 hours of atrocity." Boy, marrying the wrong person suddenly doesn't seem like such a big deal, does it? (NR; playing at Universal Cinemark at CityWalk and Touchstar Cinemas Southchase 7)
– This story appears in the Nov. 6, 2019, print issue of Orlando Weekly. Stay on top of Central Florida news and views with our weekly Headlines newsletter.