Sorry, arts. Too bad, sports. Suck it, film. Fall in Orlando belongs to music, and that's never been more accurate than this year — a jam-packed season of historical proportions that promises to leave music fans exhausted, satisfied and dangerously over-the-limit, blood-alcohol-wise.
Almost every day in October offers an amazing show, provided a willingness to put some mileage on the sedan and do some light shuffling. As is only humane, there are a few days provided for recovery, but all told, a live-music devotee has no reason to be bored in October.
Of course, there is still some juice left in September: mixtaper-cum-next-big-thing Drake plays Sept. 24 at USF Sun Dome, Shakira brings her overcooked undulation Sept. 28 to Amway Center and Das EFX, Pete Rock & CL Smooth, Brand Nubians and more reminisce Sept. 26 at B.B. King's Blues Club.
November is shaping up nicely as well, with stops already planned from Social Distortion, La Roux and Jethro Tull's Ian Anderson, and December brings us (so far) the Misfits and Joe Satriani.
But as for the fall season, music in October is king. Here is your day-by-day breakdown:
Oct. 1 — It's a good thing Patton Oswalt canceled his Hard Rock Live gig, thus eliminating any guilt residuals over skipping out to see Rush (1-800-ASK-GARY Amphitheatre) in Tampa. Whew!
Oct. 2 ' The 1991 'Clash of the Titans' tour lineup — Slayer, Megadeth and Anthrax (Hard Rock Live) — reunite tonight. Imagine if Anthrax were in town just a couple weeks earlier when Public Enemy were here. That would've rocked bells.
Oct. 3-4 ' A dry couple of days. You're going to need the rest.
Oct. 5 — LCD Soundsystem (Hard Rock Live) closed out the Leeds Festival this year; that's how big their dicks are right now.
Oct. 6 ' The National (House of Blues) was the soundtrack to Barack Obama's electoral victory speech at Grant Park in 2008. They have big dicks, too.
Oct. 7 ' Experimental Brooklyn hipsters Yeasayer (Firestone Live) come to town. Dick size: unknown.
Oct. 8 ' Former System of a Downer Serj Tankian backed out of his planned gig, so your ticket dollars should go to pimp-ass Mexican legend Vicente FernÃ¡ndez (Amway Center).
Oct. 9 ' I don't know who's booking these amazing shows at the Silver Spurs Arena, but we owe them thanks for tonight's lineup of freestyle legends: Afrika Bambaataa (who pretty much invented hip-hop), Stevie B, Safire and more.
Oct. 10 ' The pull of freewheelin' Bob Dylan (UCF Arena) is too powerful to resist, despite that Christmas album last year.
Oct. 11 ' Vampire Weekend (Hard Rock Live) wish it was still 2006.
Oct. 12 ' Stone Temple Pilots (Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Hollywood) wobble but they (hopefully this time) don't fall down.
Oct. 13 ' Ted Leo & the Pharmacists (the Social) may seem like hippie pussies (and kind of are), but their sound is anything but.
Oct. 14 ' Flaming Lips play House of Blues. There will be balloons.
Oct. 15 ' Three 6 Mafia are slated to play the Inkfest Urban Tattoo Expo in Daytona Beach. It seems highly unlikely that they actually will, but the listing looks hilarious on paper.
Oct. 16 ' Bone Thugs-N-Harmony (Firestone Live) will probably save their two songs anyone cares about for last. Worth it!
Oct. 17 ' Gary Numan (Firestone Live) has still got it.
Oct. 18 ' Caribou's (Back Booth) Canadian electronica sounds better live than recorded.
Oct. 19 — Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros (Culture Room) are amazing enough to drive to Fort Lauderdale to see. Unless you don't care about Gary Numan, in which case you can catch them at the Social on the 17th.
Oct. 20 ' Breathe. Go see Jackass 3-D and dry out a bit.
Oct. 21 ' If Styx had only ever done 'Come Sail Away,' they would be worth seeing in town. But because they also did 'Renegade,' we can safely tell you to drive to Melbourne's King Center for this one.
Oct. 22 ' Xiu Xiu (Crowbar) invade Tampa with local electronic duo Yip-Yip in tow.
Oct. 23 — Jaron Lanier was one of Time magazine's 100 most influential people this year. Tonight he performs a new commissioned piece at Rollins College's Bach Festival Fall Choral Masterworks program. That's a big deal.
Oct. 24 ' Frightened Rabbit (the Social) are both Scottish and awesome. Granted, the two usually do go together.
Oct. 25 ' MGMT (Hard Rock Live) are playing. You probably won't dance to it anyway, and that's sad.
Oct. 26 ' Phoenix (House of Blues) is the highlight of October, which is saying a ton.
Oct. 27 — Massive Attack (Hard Rock Live) celebrate their great new album.
Oct. 28 ' Tech N9ne and E-40 (Firestone Live) argue over who has the worst filmography — and also rap.
Oct. 29 ' Whew! You did it! Time to relax with â?¦ let's see â?¦ Edward James Olmos at Mills Memorial Hall in Winter Park!
Oct. 30 ' Yo Gabba Gabba (St. Pete Times Forum) bring an acid-tripping end to October's festivities. (Psst: Bum-rush the stage and see how quickly DJ Lance Rock pees himself.)
Pick up the print edition on newsstands now for hundreds of event listings during the fall season.