- VIRGO: Amy Poehler
ARIES (March 21-April 19) Life tests you all the time. Sometimes its prods and queries are hard and weird; they come at you with nonstop intensity. On other occasions the riddles and lessons are pretty fun and friendly, and provide you with lots of slack to figure them out. In all cases, life's tests offer you the chance to grow smarter, both in your head and heart. They challenge you to stretch your capacities and invite you to reduce your suffering. Right now, oddly enough, you have some choice in what kinds of tests you'd prefer. Just keep in mind that the more interesting they are, the bigger the rewards are likely to be.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20) According to the religion of ancient Egypt, Tefnut is the goddess of moisture. In the natural world, she rules rain, dew, mist, humidity and condensation. For humans, she is the source of tears, spit, sweat, phlegm and the wetness produced by sex. In accordance with the astrological omens, I nominate her to be your tutelary spirit in the coming week. I suspect you will thrive by cultivating a fluidic sensibility. You will learn exactly what you need to learn by paying special attention to everything that exudes and spills and flows.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20) I'm guessing that you don't know the name of the person who sent the first email. It was Ray Tomlinson, and he did it in 1971. You're probably also unaware that he originated the use of the @ symbol as a key part of email addresses. Now I'd like to address your own inner Ray Tomlinson: the part of you that has done valuable work hardly anyone knows about; the part of you that has created good stuff without getting much credit or appreciation. I celebrate that unsung hero, and I hope you will make a special effort to do the same in the coming week.
CANCER (June 21-July 22) Busy editor Katie Hintz-Zambrano was asked in an interview what she does when she's not working at her demanding job. She said she likes to get together with her "article club," which is like a book club, except it's for people who don't have time to read anything longer than articles. I would approve of you seeking out short-cut pleasures like that in the next few weeks. It's one of those phases in your astrological cycle when you have a poetic license to skip a few steps, avoid some of the boring details and take leaps of faith that allow you to bypass complicated hassles.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) Imagine you're living in 1880. You're done with work for the day, and you're at home enjoying some alone-time leisure activities. What might those be? By the light of your oil lamp, you could read a book, sing songs, compose a letter with pen and paper, or write in your diary. Now transfer your imaginative attention to your actual living space in 2012. It might have a smart phone, tablet, laptop, TV, DVD player and game console. You've got access to thousands of videos, movies, songs, social media, websites and networked games. Aren't you glad you live today instead of 1880? On the other hand, having so many choices can result in you wasting a lot of time with stimuli that don't fully engage you. Make this the week you see what it's like to use your leisure time for only the highest-quality, most interesting and worthwhile stuff.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) I'll bet that a-ha! experiences will arrive at a faster rate than you've seen in a long time. Breakthroughs and brainstorms will be your specialty. Surprises and serendipitous adventures should be your delight. The only factor that might possibly obstruct the flow would be if you clung too tightly to your expectations or believed too fiercely in your old theories about how the world works. I've got an idea about how to ensure the best possible outcome. Several times every day, say something like the following: "I love to get my curiosity spiked, my hair mussed, my awe struck, my goose bumps roused, my dogmas exploded and my mind blown."
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) "Disappointments should be cremated, not embalmed," said the aphorist Henry S. Haskins. That's good advice for you right now. It's an auspicious moment for you to set fire to your defeats, letdowns and discouragements – and let them burn into tiny piles of ashes. I mean all of them, stretching back for years, not simply the recent ones. There's no need to treat them like precious treasures you have an obligation to lug with you into the future. The time is right for you to deepen your mastery of the art of liberation.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Columnist Sydney J. Harris told the following story. "I walked with a friend to the newsstand the other night, and he bought a paper, thanking the owner politely. The owner, however, did not even acknowledge it. 'A sullen fellow, isn't he?' I commented as we walked away. 'Oh, he's that way every night,' shrugged my friend. 'Then why do you continue being so polite to him?' I asked. And my friend replied, 'Why should I let him determine how I'm going to act?'" I hope you'll adopt that approach in the coming week. Be your best self even if no one appreciates it or responds. Astrologically speaking, this is prime time to anchor yourself in your highest integrity.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) In the 1960 Olympics at Rome, Ethiopian runner Abebe Bikila was barefoot as he won a gold medal in the marathon race. Four years later, at the summer games in Tokyo, he won a gold medal again, this time while wearing shoes. I'm guessing this theme might apply to you and your life in the coming weeks. You have the potential to score another victory in a situation where you have triumphed in the past. And I think it's even more likely to happen if you vary some fundamental detail, as Bikila did.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Wikipedia has extensive lists of the biggest unsolved problems in medicine, computer science, philosophy and nine other fields. Each article treats those riddles with utmost respect and interest, regarding them not as subjects to be avoided but rather embraced. I love this perspective and urge you to apply it to your own life. This would be an excellent time, astrologically speaking, to draw up a master list of your biggest unsolved problems. Have fun. Activate your wild mind. Make it into a game. I bet that doing so will attract a flood of useful information that'll help you get closer to solving those problems. (Here's Wikipedia's big list: tinyurl.com/listofproblems)
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) There's a certain lesson in love that you have been studying and studying and studying – and yet have never quite mastered. Several different teachers have tried with only partial success to provide you with insights that would allow you to graduate to the next level of romantic understanding. That's the bad news. The good news is that all this could change in the coming months. I foresee a breakthrough in your relationship with intimacy. I predict benevolent jolts and healing shocks that will allow you to learn at least some of the open-hearted truths that have eluded you all this time.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) A mother wrote to the "Car Talk" columnists to ask whether it's possible to cook food on a car engine. She wanted to be able to bring her teenage son piping hot burritos when she picked him up from school. The experts replied that yes, this is a fine idea. They said there's even a book about how to do it, Manifold Destiny: The One! The Only! Guide to Cooking on Your Car Engine! I suggest you engage in this kind of creative thinking during the coming week. Consider innovations that might seem a bit eccentric. Imagine how you might use familiar things in unexpected ways. Expand your sense of how to coordinate two seemingly unrelated activities.