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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

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ARIES (March 21-April 19) In her book Courtney Love: The Queen of Noise, Melissa Rossi reports that in the mid-1990s "Courtney surrounded herself with a coterie of soothsayers, even approaching hipster stargazer Rob Brezsny, who declined to provide his services." Rossi doesn't explain why, but I will. Courtney pressed me to tell her whether her romantic future should be with Trent or Billy, and I urged her to talk about the changes she could make to get clear about what she wanted. She wanted me to predict her future, and I prodded her to formulate intelligent questions that would help her create a beautiful, interesting future for herself. In the coming weeks I hope you'll do what I suggested she try back then.

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TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Taurus actor Pierce Brosnan told Parade magazine how shocking it was to get fired after playing the role of James Bond for four films. But after the initial pain he felt from being rejected, he eventually got to the point where he could say, "I'm free now. I can do anything I want." What helped him recover was conjuring up the proper attitude. "You've got to be a fighting rooster," he said. That's half of my prescription for you in the coming week. Be a charismatic warrior as you push to further your highest ideals and brightest desires. Be a stylishly fierce liberator in charge of designing your own freedom. Be a fighting rooster with the heart of an artist.

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GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Do you believe in higher love at first sight? How about instant enlightenment? And what about higher love at first sight that brings instant enlightenment, or instant enlightenment that provokes higher love at first sight? These are themes you'll soon be flirting with. In order to get all the blessings, you must dispense with your preconceived notions about what they might entail. You've got to wash your own brain so it's nice and clean and empty of expectations.

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CANCER (June 21-July 22) Your creed for the last three months of 2008 comes from Nikos Kazantzakis: "By believing passionately in something that still does not exist, we create it. The nonexistent is whatever we have not sufficiently desired." Memorize this. Imprint it on your mind. Make it so much a part of you that it breathes as you breathe and dreams as you dream. Allow it to turn you into a magician whose potent desire is as strong as the longings of 10 normal people put together.

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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) "Gleeking" is a term that refers to a special kind of projectile spitting. To do it, you've got to practice. It involves pressing your tongue against your submaxillary salivary gland when a pool of drool has accumulated nearby. I recommend this practice for you in the coming week. It'll be a favorable time for you to be undignified, unpredictable and even outrageous in expressing yourself. Other suggested practices: telling unruly stories concisely, speaking the truth with picturesque but disciplined extravagance, adding some vivid new slang to your body language.

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VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Talk back to those voices in your head – I mean those nagging little chatterers who second-guess you 10 times a day, trying to undermine your faith in what you started in recent weeks. And as you respond to their agitation, do so with poise and grace – not with defensiveness, not with bitter complaint, but with a quietly aggressive confidence that the intuitions you relied on to launch your new projects were basically sound. The annoying little voices are trying to convince you that you should go back to square one, when in fact you're on the right track but merely need to do some tinkering.

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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) "New ideas show up disguised innocently as interruptions, contradictions and embarrassing dilemmas," says motivational speaker Rob Lebow. "Beware of total strangers and friends alike who shower you with comfortable sameness, and remain open to those who make you uneasy, for they are the true messengers of the future." That excellent advice is my birthday present to you. If you make use of it during the next three weeks, I bet you'll consistently be in the right place at the right time to extract the maximum benefit from your blind dates with destiny.

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SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Robert Downey Jr. is grateful to Burger King for serving such gross food. After eating a particularly foul meal there in 2003, he told Empire magazine, he was so disgusted that he drove to the beach and hurled all of his drugs into the sea. It was the shock he needed to begin the process of kicking his addiction. I suggest you seek out a similar epiphany – whether that involves an encounter with greasy fried cow meat or something else that triggers your urge to rise up and purify yourself.

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) If I were you, I wouldn't buy a bunch of new stuff or invest in unripe possibilities. I'd cash in on the hard work I've been doing for many months now. I'd quit while I was ahead. I'd liquefy assets that might soon decline in their value to me but that are still at the height of their value to other people. In order for you to summon the confidence necessary to pull this off, you'll have to resist the temptation to hold on to everything a little while longer.

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Most American companies don't pay any federal income tax. During a recent seven-year period, 1.3 million businesses earned well over a trillion dollars but didn't pony up a cent to the U.S. government. And it's a favorable time for you to seek comparable perks. Maybe you don't have to keep having your assets drained in ways you've always assumed were inevitable. I'm talking metaphorically as well as literally; I'm referring to emotional and psychic energy as well as actual money. Are there any legal and ethical loopholes you can exploit to free yourself from long-running burdens?

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Once upon a time, Brave Aquarius wandered out to the edge of the known universe in search of mind-blowing sensations and clues to the future. So imagine Brave Aquarius's amazement when the rather attractive ogre who was guarding the rope bridge that crossed over the abyss said, "Stop! You're headed the wrong way! The mind-blowing sensations and clues to the future you crave are back in the direction you came from. In fact, they are all the way back where you started." What to do? The ogre's advice was counterintuitive and downright confounding. But Brave Aquarius, being an experimental adventurer, thought, "Hmmm. I guess maybe I'll try what the ogre suggested. What could be more experimental and adventurous than changing my mind?"

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PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Blessings will come if you cultivate as much stillness as possible. I'm not just talking about reducing noise levels, but that's a good first step. Other things you might do: cut way down on using the phone; text-message sparingly; surf the Internet 70 percent less than usual; avoid watching TV news altogether; and don't hang around people whose minds zip around like chimps on meth. As for your own monkey mind: See if you can enjoy some time each day when the monkey gets to lie down in a soft place and watch the sky.

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