Movies » Couchsurfing

In 'Slaxx,' a possessed pair of pants seeks vengeance

Pissed jeans

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Premieres Wednesday: Operation Varsity Blues: The College Admissions Scandal — It seems like just yesterday that Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin were the most dangerous criminals in America. Return to those halcyon times in a probing documentary that uses dramatic re-creations to put us inside the corridors of power where an unearned education is procured. Matthew Modine is the top-billed star, and with good reason: I hear his Huffman impression is the shizz. (Netflix)

Premieres Thursday: Get the Goat — Brazilian-made comedy with two cops on a mission to retrieve a goat that just happens to be a highly revered mascot. Seems to me this territory was already covered rather comprehensively by Greg Brady, but I guess his appeal was always a little too ethnic for the mainstream. (Netflix)

Koko-Di, Koko-Da — From Sweden comes a horror comedy in which a married couple are terrorized by fantasy characters that spring from their dead daughter's music box. Should have just bought her a pony like she wanted, Björn and Frida! (Shudder)

Nate Bargatze: The Greatest Average American — The Tennessee-born comic and podcaster uses his second stand-up special to paint a picture of what it's like to be a dad and work at Applebee's. Not at the same time, you understand, because Bernie Sanders doesn't have that "paid leave" business ironed out just yet. (Netflix)

Slaxx — High concept becomes drip-dry concept, as a possessed pair of pants seeks vengeance against the shady company that manufactured it. Go ahead and read that again if you need to. Then make your chinos sleep on the patio tonight, just in case. (Shudder)

Zack Snyder's Justice League — The four-hour restoration of Snyder's vision for 2017's lambasted Justice League promises all the slo-mo action, hackneyed music cues and CliffsNotes Christ symbolism you've come to expect. I also predict it'll be more tonally consistent crap than the version Joss Whedon "finished," but lacking in the warm and human details Whedon brought to the table. Like what, you ask? Well, the embattled Russian family, for one. And "thirsty" Lois Lane. And ... all right, point taken. Cue up the Leonard Cohen and let's see what happens. (HBO Max)

Premieres Friday: Country ComfortNanny and the Professor meets The Sound of Music meets ... I dunno, Birth of a Nation as a country singer finds herself a new gig caring for the highly musical children of a single dad. In the lead role is Trump donor and faux ally Katharine McPhee, making you wish that "cancel culture" jazz were actually a thing for once. (Netflix)

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier — Just as WandaVision delighted the hard-core fans with nods to the classic comics from whence it sprang, I'm expecting good things from the MCU's second streaming series, if only because Baron Zemo gets to wear that purple head thingie Jack Kirby drew him with. Hey, it doesn't take much to get us geeks excited. But I'm still gonna tell my kids this was The Falcon and the Snowman. (Disney+)

Formula 1: Drive to Survive — Season 3 of the high-octane reality series intends to show how the pandemic affected the sport of racing worldwide. Weekly recaps by Tucker Carlson will explain how the drivers were able to go faster because Biden hadn't yet raised the gas prices. (Netflix)

Sky Rojo — Three beautiful hookers go on the run from their pimp in a Spanish series that promises to cast an unblinking eye toward "the brutal reality of prostitution." You and I know that probably translates as "upskirt shots out the wazoo," but it could be worse: They could be working at Applebee's. (Netflix)

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