As one saying goes, "The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch." And though some of us don't have even the slightest bit of Irish in our blood, when St. Patrick's Day comes around each year, we feel compelled to raise a pint in honor of the Irish folk - and after a few pints, we may find ourselves clumsily following up on the second part of that saying, too. It helps to have an appropriate venue in which to indulge our wannabe Irish tendencies, so below we've compiled a list of events where people will be celebrating the patron saint of green beer. This year's festivities include plenty of the traditional St. Patrick's Day fare: rowdy Guinness and Jameson's chugging parties with music and dancing and corned beef and cabbage. But we've also found a few out-of-the-ordinary events that, while not directly associated with St. Patrick's Day, promise to be a good time. Take your pick but remember: "The longest road out is the shortest road home." Whatever that means. Feck it, we're drunk.
Ain't Patty's Day Luau 9 p.m. Saturday; Party like a Polynesian leprechaun with a corned beef and cabbage pot-luck dinner, music and a make-your-own lei contest. Little Fish Huge Pond, 309 E. First St., Sanford; free; 407-221-1499; littlefish-hugepond.com.
Barley Wine-Fest 1-11 p.m. Sunday; Redlight Redlight, 745 Bennett Road; free; 407-893-9832.
Celtic Music Festival 2011 7-11 p.m. Friday; Scottish and Irish music and dancers, food from local restaurants and a jam tent. Ormond Beach Performing Arts Center, 399 N. U.S. Highway 1, Ormond Beach; $5-$17.50; 386-676-3375; ormondcelticmusicfest.com.
East Orlando Beer Festival 1-5 p.m. Saturday; Sample beers from all over the country, with live music throughout the day. Waterford Lakes Town Center, 413 N. Alafaya Trail; $25-$50; 407-383-2331; floridabeerfestivals.com.
Gary Awesome's St. Patrick's Day Bash 10 p.m. Thursday; The Peacock Room, 1321 N. Mills Ave.; free; 407-228-0048.
Gimme Da Gold! St. Patty's Party featuring Andy Matchett & the Minks, Marksmen, Mountain Lions. 8 p.m. Thursday; Back Booth, 37 W. Pine St.; free-$5; 407-999-2570.
Green Drinks 6-10 p.m. Thursday; Meet people interested in making Orlando more sustainable, with live music and a featured speaker. Dandelion Communitea Café, 618 N. Thornton Ave.; free; 407-362-1864; dandelioncommunitea.com.
Green Waves Gathering featuring Anberlin, J. Cole, We the Kings. 6:30 p.m. Sunday; UCF Arena, University of Central Florida; $20; 407-823-6006.
Hannibal Square Wine Tasting & St. Patrick's Day Street Party 5:30-8 p.m. Thursday; 8th annual event features 40 different wine and beer samples, hors d'oeuvres and music by the Redcoats. Downtown Winter Park, New England Avenue, between Pennsylvania and Virginia; $20-$25; 407-644-8281; winterpark.org.
Irish Festival 1:30 p.m. Thursday, 6 p.m. Friday-Saturday; Three days of celebrating featuring Irish dancers, traditional fare, drink specials and concerts by Jeff Howell, Napoleon Complex Band, Dirty Hairy and others. Hagan O'Reilly's Irish Pub and Restaurant, 16112 Marsh Road, Suite 401, Winter Garden; free; 407-905-4782; haganoreillys.com.
Orange Democrats St. Patrick's Day Social 6:30 p.m. Thursday; Scruffy Murphy's, 2625 Edgewater Drive; free; 407-835-7150; orangedemocrats.com.
Piper's 5th Annual St. Patrick's Day Bash with the Kidney Stones. 4 p.m. Thursday; Pipers Bar and Grill, 4544 Curry Ford Road; free; 407-277-2883.
St. Paddy's Day 11 a.m. Thursday; Party with Irish dancing by the Watters School of Irish Dance and live music by Creel and Elevation. Raglan Road Irish Pub, Downtown Disney, 1640 E. Buena Vista Drive, Lake Buena Vista; $10; 407-938-0300; raglanroadirishpub.com.
St. Paddy's Day 2011 Noon Thursday; Lizzy McCormack's, 55 N. Orange Ave.; free; 407-426-8007.
St. Paddy's Day Bash 7:30 a.m. Thursday; Wally's Mills Avenue Liquors, 1001 N. Mills Ave.; free; 407-896-6975.
St. Paddy's Day Bash 6 p.m. Thursday; Howl at the Moon, 8815 International Drive; call for price; 407-354-5999.
St. Paddy's Day Kegs N' Eggs 8 a.m. Thursday; Grab a pint of beer and enjoy an Irish buffet. Paddy Murphy's Irish Pub & Restaurant, 4982 New Broad St.; $8; 407-622-4700; originalpaddymurphys.com.
St. Paddy's Day with Jeff O'Howell. 10 p.m. Thursday; Cricketers Arms Pub, Festival Bay Mall; free; 407-354-0686.
St. Paddy's Day with Teresa Markos, Chuck Culbertson, Chris Saenz, Keith Jancheck, Sal Minelli. 8 p.m. Thursday; Little Fish Huge Pond, 309 E. First St., Sanford; free; 407-221-1499.
St. Patrick's Day Noon Thursday-Friday; Enjoy drink specials at various Church Street bars. Downtown Orlando, Orange Avenue and Church Street; free; 407-649-4270.
St. Patrick's Day 2 p.m. Thursday; World of Beer - UCF, 3402 Technological Ave., Suite 201; free; 321-235-9741.
St. Patrick's Day Back Door Bumby DJ Oren Nizri. 10 p.m. Thursday; Revolution Nightclub, 375 S. Bumby Ave.; free; 407-228-9900; revolutionorlando.com.
St. Patrick's Day Block Party 4 p.m. Thursday; Wall Street Plaza, Wall and Court streets; $5; 407-849-0471.
St. Patrick's Day Block Party 11 a.m. Thursday; Irish dancers, corned beef and cabbage dinners and live Irish music by Hot Asphalt. Scruffy Murphy's, 2625 Edgewater Drive; free-$5; 407-835-7150; scruffymurphysorlando.com.
St. Patrick's Day Block Party & Concert 2 p.m. Thursday; Multiple bars with drink specials, DJ music and live concerts by Liquid Biscuit and Savi Fernandez Band. Knight Library, 12289 University Blvd.; $5; 407-482-2500; knightlibrary.com.
St. Patrick's Day Party
4 p.m. Thursday; Copper Rocket Pub, 106 Lake Ave., Maitland; free; 407-645-0069.
St. Patrick's Day Party 4 p.m. Thursday; Bagpipers, stilt walkers, beads and leprechauns with live music and dueling pianos. Pat O'Briens, CityWalk at Universal Orlando; free-$7; 407-224-2106; patobriens.com.
St. Patrick's Day Party 11 a.m. Thursday; Irish food, beer, activities and an appearance by the Guinness Girls. The Celt Irish Pub, 25 S. Magnolia Ave.; free; 407-481-2928; harpandcelt.com.
St. Patrick's Day with ArtOfficial 8 p.m. Thursday; The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave.; free; 407-246-1419.
St. Patrick's Day with RJ Harman and Company. 10:30 p.m. Thursday; Tanqueray's, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540.
St. Patty's Day Blow Out Party Noon Thursday; O'Shucks Pub and Billiards, 7467 International Drive; free; 407-352-7892.
St. Patty's Day Music Festival featuring DJs G!O, ATM, Cheyenne M, Mixed Feelings and others. 2 p.m. Thursday; Deko Lounge, 12253 University Blvd.; free; 954-562-4304.
St. Patty's Day Open Mic. 7 p.m. Thursday; Lazy Gator at the Black Hammock, 2356 Black Hammock Fish Camp Road, Oviedo; free; 407-365-1244.
St. Patty's Pub Crawl 6 p.m. Thursday; Pay one price for drink specials at various area watering holes. Beginning at Funky Monkey Wine Company, 912 N. Mills Ave.; $5; 407-427-1447; mills50.org.
The St. Patrick's Tribute to Thin Lizzy featuring the Ludes, Potsie, Lone Hymnal, Hot Mouth, the Actomatics and others. 9 p.m. Thursday; Will's Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; call for price; 407-898-5070.
Third Annual St. Patrick's Block Party 11 a.m. Thursday; Authentic Irish menu, Orange County Pipers & Drums, Irish dancers and leprechauns. Liam Fitzpatrick's, 951 Market Promenade Ave., Lake Mary; free; 407-936-3782; liamfitzpatricks.com.
Vegan St. Patty's Day
11 a.m.-10 p.m. Thursday; Ethos Vegan Kitchen, 1235 N. Orange Ave.; various menu prices; 407-228-3898.