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Keller's piece

Jeffrey C. Billman's usually sloppy, whether in a feature or a report. This time he left out who/when Keller remarried, after he said who/when Keller divorced `"Ric Keller's greatest hits," Nov. 2`.

Editor: If Keller wins, why not Photoshop him from now on until he leaves office by running a pic of what he'd look like without his wig. Stick to one image and use it each time you write about him, and don't refer to it even the first time you do it; just debut it blind, as if it were how he looks.

Michael Camarata, via the Internet

Homage to Herb

Your cover of Ric Keller's greatest hits `Nov 2.` brought back memories of Herb Alpert's Tijuana Brass' Whipped Cream & Other Delights. It would be interesting to see how many of your other readers saw the resemblance.

Bruce Larsen, via the Internet

Why Metallica fans suck

Jason Ferguson: What in the holy shit is wrong with you? Why you'd go off on a tangent directed at Metallica for the sake of hosting some bullshit contest is beyond me `"Why Metallica sucks," July 10, 2003`.

My question to you is what you do so well that it makes you think you can say with any sort of certainty that Metallica sucks. Oh, I see, it wasn't you who said that Metallica sucks, it was your readers who only entered a contest to mouth off about how Metallica sucks. You had nothing to do with it.

Also, permit me to answer the question of what it is you do so well: nothing.

In short, I believe that you should be posting on rather than planting bullshit stories on it, about people whom you'll never meet and who also would not take the time to defend themselves against your tirades. Just listen to the fuckin' music, buddy, and keep your suck-or-doesn't-suck contests to yourself.

Why don't you write about local bands? Why use your position to target already signed bands for any type of publicity?

Metal has been in a decline for a long time. For you to take random potshots at a group that helped to start the art form is ridiculous and unnecessary in today's hip-hop climate. It's also completely without respect.

My ideas about Metallica are varied. I'm a Megadeth fan and from what I can tell Metallica don't like Megs, and ain't done it no favors. But for me to say that Metallica sucks is certainly a stretch; it's one that I personally wouldn't make. Why don't ya write a column about this letter, and be sure to tell them that I'm a much better writer than you are, and that's all down to respecting those who've come before me.

Kris Anderson, Orlando

Editor's note: Hey Kris, check the date on that contest; it's three years old. The avalanche of letters like yours long ago caused Ferguson to change his mind about the brilliance of Metallica; in fact, he now plans to tour with them.

Wishful thinking

You have lost your minds `"Nothing's shocking," Oct. 26`. Wishful thinking. Disgraceful. I hope the voters kick your liberal, left-wing, socialist asses next week. Did you know it's against federal law to threaten a president?

Victor L. Lutz, via the Internet

Editor's note: Hey Victor, when you check the department title under which the piece ran, you'll note you're objecting to a movie review. Now we didn't check with our lawyers or anything, but as far as we know there's no law against writing about a movie that deals with the fictional assassination of a president — at least not yet.

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