(Editor's note: We're indulging Seth in his so-called "shameful" self-promotion for his own Fringe show, The Karate Guy, only because his ghostwriter is pretty funny. Read more Fringe by Miyagi on the Culture 2 Go blog at www.orlandoweekly.com.)
My favorite annual event on Orlando's cultural calendar begins Thursday, May 14: the Orlando International Fringe Theatre Festival. I'd like to use my column this week to expand upon the roundup of free stuff (see the previous page) and expound on why I love Fringe and explain how I plan to experience up to eight plays per day without passing out.
But I can't, because it would just be wrong. You see, I adhere to the strict ethical strictures that guided journalistic icons like William Randolph Hearst, Generoso Pope Jr. and Brenda Starr. I'm close to the event's organizers, and I'm producing and directing a show, so an objective opinion from me is obviously right out. And I'd never want you to think I use this sacred bully pulpit for my own financial benefit. So I'm not going to mention my own play; I won't even tell you which color-coded venue it's in, even though I'd be tickled pink if you'd attend.
Instead, I'm turning the remainder of my space over to someone who can give a completely unbiased assessment: my old and dear friend Kesuke Miyagi (as interpreted by his longtime translator and hedge-trimmer Christian Kelty). Mr. Miyagi is a world-renowned expert in bonsai cultivation, classic-car restoration and apartment appliance maintenance. He also claims to be an expert in the ancient art of karate, but I suspect that might be him exploiting Asian-American stereotypes to bullshit me. Take his advice (rendered in what I keep trying to tell him isn't really haiku) or leave it. Just don't miss out on Fringe.
Miyagi love all theatre
in fact, Miyagi raised on kabuki
and warrior ghost plays
Miyagi even had dreams of becoming actor
(but Miyagi digress)
In some case Miyagi going with wisdom and knowledge
some choices Miyagi going on instinct
and all choices clouded by
Miyagi personal taste
(opinion is like asshole
everybody know at least one)
7 (x1) Samurai
(David Gaines, Arlington, Va.)
Miyagi love Kurosawa
in fact Seven Samurai is all time greatest movie
(Miyagi fight anyone who say otherwise)
one man doing whole tale
Miyagi front and center
Cary From the Cock
(Cary Curran Presents, New York)
Miyagi love visiting Bangkok
petting cocker spaniels
wearing Le Coq Sportif
(Miyagi hope he like this as well)
The Cody Rivers Show Presents: Meanwhile Everywhere
(The Cody Rivers Show,
Miyagi see last year's show
still cannot find socks
Miyagi wear three pairs this year
(Relevant Theatrics, Orlando)
Gay Jesus in Texas?
with David Almeida as saint!
must be fantasy
or maybe science fiction
Flamenco con Fusion '09
(Ricardo Garcia's Flamenco Flow, Barcelona, Spain)
Miyagi see this group
make Miyagi feel
like little Spanish girl
Pie-Face! The Adventures of Anita Bryant
(Kangagirl Productions, Orlando)
Miyagi always proud when Asian artist make fine art
… wait … what? …
(Mr. David Lee no Asian?)
well, he so good
he should be
Puppetslam and Family Puppet Blast!
(Puppet SLAM and Orlando Puppet Blasts, Orlando)
who else love puppets?
one show naughty, one show nice
wise parent figure out which is which
or end up with therapist bills
(Twisted Sisters Comedy Hour, Orlando)
The Executives Present:
(The Executives, Orlando)
Miyagi see these guys and girls last year
and Miyagi entertained
also Miyagi have man-crush
on James Keaton
plus free kittens!
(Miyagi suddenly hungry for sweet-and-sour pork)firstname.lastname@example.org