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Biteboy Bites

I always thought Lou `Pearlman` was a tool, but his scheming is out of control this time `“Lou talks!,” June 12`. Biteboy played at a local venue’s open-mic night tonight (I won’t say which), and they do indeed fucking bite. It was Rick Jr. and the blond chick playing. Holy crap.

First off the blondie can’t play and can barely sing, and daddy’s little prodigy can barely carry a note himself. His attempts to sound rough and gravely on the mic ended up about as hard and “rock” as the corn I passed from dinner last night. If Lou expects this band to be $17 million richer by the end of the year, and he gets half, he’s in for more than he expects from prison.

Good luck with this garbage. If all four members of the band combined are eight times as good as the first two I saw tonight and actually make it as a band, I’ll cut my ears off and auction them to eBay in Lou’s cause. Personally, I think he should get an extra 300 months for even promoting this crap. Although it is Pearlman.


Biteboy Bites Back

I just read your excellent article and appreciate it very much `“Lou talks!,” June 12`. I was particularly pleased to read that Jonathan Murray confirmed the plans for our TV show.

Of course, right out of the box is the unsolicited opinion of some unknown and ill-informed scumbag `see comment above`. Jealousy is so ugly. These comments are typical of the shit slung by slimeballs who have dogged this band ever since they began. How can anyone explain such venom, even before Pearlman? Not even Marilyn Manson can be bad enough to deserve such an emotional response.

One can only assume that such a response, aggressively posted as the first of the week at 6 a.m., is born of sour grapes and jealousy. I studied the U-curve in college, a theory of marketing that says that anything that elicits an emotional response will look like a “U” on a graph. At the twin peaks of the U, a lot of people love it and a lot of people hate it, but at the bottom not many people have no opinion.


The Big Ones

I got your cocktail right here! Seriously, how long has Liz Langley been waiting to write about penises again `“The big salute,” June 12`? Welcome back to Orlando Weekly, where column size doesn’t matter and you’re free to share your truly cockeyed take on 21st-century life, love and sex in the City Beautiful. Cock tales, indeed.


Where’s The Beef?

Earlier this week, more than 100,000 South Koreans demonstrated against newly elected president Lee Myung-bak, as his entire cabinet offered to resign. At the root of this massive protest was not a declaration of war against North Korea, a boycott of the Chinese Summer Olympics or even escalating oil prices. It was a treaty allowing U.S. beef imports.

Beef production accounts for more greenhouse gas emissions than automobiles. Its insatiable demand for feed grains has raised world food prices to levels beyond the reach of the world’s hungry and the relief agencies that support them. Creation of beef pastures is the key cause of worldwide deforestation, including the destruction of the Amazon rain forest. A beef-based diet requires more than 20 times as much land and water as a plant-based diet with equivalent amounts of calories and protein.

Nutritionally, beef offers protein, iron and some B vitamins, but no fiber, carbohydrates, nor most vitamins and minerals. On the other hand, it is replete with saturated fat, cholesterol, pesticides and pathogens, including occasionally, the prions of “mad cow” disease.

We should have 100,000 demonstrators marching on Washington to protest taxpayer subsidies to the U.S. beef industry. In the meantime, each one of us can demonstrate our own outrage with beef production on our next trip to the supermarket by selecting from the rich variety of soy- and plant-based meat alternatives in the frozen foods and produce sections.

Oswald Caldona, Orlando

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