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Mouse traps

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The much-feared millennium hiccup means you've been scheduled since January to work the night of Dec. 31, and probably New Year's Day as well. That means you won't be among the throngs who booked Disney World vacations for that week in such large numbers that resort reservations agents have been turning away bookings since early last year. But the Magic Kingdom is no different than the rest in its need to prepare for potentially mischief-making computers. And while closed-mouthed Disney never tells anybody anything anyway (like, the best time to avoid the lines at Test Track is to show up right when they restart it after one of its many breakdowns), these "Top Ten Ways Y2K Will Affect Disney World" are interesting possibilities (with credit to an anonymous Internet author):

10. Accidental switch back to 19,000 Leagues Under the Sea.

9. Screwed-up computers report EuroDisney turning a profit.

8. Air-traffic control glitch causes Dumbo to smack into a DC-10.

7. Cinderella starts receiving Bashful's subscription to Hustler.

6. The Hall of Presidents keeps chanting, "Kill Clinton, Kill Clinton."

5. When you wish upon a star ... not a damn thing happens.

4. Unexpected power surge brings an angry Walt Disney back to life.

3. Main Street Electrical Parade becomes Main Street Two Guys with Plastic Flashlights Parade.

2. Ticket machine accidentally dispenses day passes for less than $600.

1. Two words: catapulting teacups.


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