If you feel like hitting a movie this weekend, your options are relatively slim. You can't go see Lady Bird because you haven't seen LBJ yet, and you wouldn't know what's going on. You can't see Coco, because John Lasseter is an "enthusiastic hugger." And you can't see Justice League, because ... well, because it's Justice League. What's left? "Glad" you "asked."
OPENING THIS WEEK:
He's Out There Some news outlets have this Screen Gems shocker opening Friday. But there's no poster or MPAA rating, and everything online that's marked as a trailer actually shows clips from other films and TV shows. Geez, I bet the actual movie isn't this interesting. What we know so far is that He's Out There stars Yvonne Strahovski of Hulu's The Handmaid's Tale as a woman who has to protect her children from a homicidal maniac at a lake house. And that, back in 2014, its script came in sixth on the Blood List, Hollywood's annual ranking of the top unproduced horror screenplays. (At the time, it was called Scarecrow, but why leave oneself open to a lawsuit from Gene Hackman or Cillian Murphy?) So maybe you'll see it this weekend and maybe you won't, Mr. Desperate Moviegoer. If that is indeed your name.
Novitiate This 20th-century period piece about the Catholic church was dropped into some area theaters the day after Thanksgiving. Hey, nothing washes down pumpkin pie like a good-sized helping of guilt and shame. Melissa Leo plays a rigid Mother Superior fighting to resist the reforms of Vatican II. (Which, in retrospect, posed less problems for the faithful than Ghostbusters 2.) In a different picture this year, Leo played legendary atheist Madalyn Murray O'Hair, which means she's entitled to some sort of fairness award when it comes to representing the various religions on film. Can't wait to see her take on Golda Meir.
Red Til I'm Dead: Sammy Hagar's Rock-n-Roll Birthday Party At this stage, does even Sammy Hagar celebrate Sammy Hagar's birthday anymore? Apparently so, because he put his 70th on film and is having it beamed into theaters for one night only. Among the special guests joining the Red Rocker at his Cabo Wabo Cantina – kind of the Jonestown compound for yahoos – are Toby Keith, the guy from Nickelback and Guy Fieri. See, and all this time, I had thought Guy Fieri was Sammy Hagar.
Jane Another one-time-only screening, this one unearthing previously unseen footage of Jane Goodall and her landmark research among chimpanzees. You won't believe what she learned about Guy Fieri. (10 a.m. Saturday, Dec. 2, at Enzian Theater, Maitland; includes live presentation by zoo and conservation expert Dr. Tammie Bettinger.)