Mission: Impossible – Fallout There's a nasty series of memes going around that compare the apparent agelessness of Tom Cruise to the physical deterioration of his Top Gun leading lady, Kelly McGillis. Why anyone would raise the specter of Kelly McGillis at this point just for the sake of a cheap putdown is beyond me, especially as she has no career to speak of that she needs to stay in shape for. Then again, maybe she has no career to speak of because the industry is still run by the sort of people who make misogynist memes. They just call them movies.
Anyway, Cruise is back in theaters this week with the sixth Mission: Impossible flick, so we can all appreciate his perfectly preserved physiognomy. He actually broke his ankle during filming, causing what was announced as a nine-week halt in the production. But of course, he was back at it after only seven weeks, because he's Tom Cruise and he's an immaculate physical specimen. Have I mentioned that?
Oh, and this is also the movie that costar Henry Cavill grew his infamous mustache for – the one he couldn't shave off for his Justice League reshoots, dooming that picture to unwatchability. Mission: Impossible entries have a way of screwing with superhero movies: The extended shooting schedule for 2000's second chapter forced Dougray Scott to drop out of the role of Wolverine in the first X-Men, thus creating the career of Hugh Jackman. All I can say is, it better be a hell of a 'stache, Henry. Something even Burt Reynolds would envy. Or at least Kelly McGillis. (Damn, they've got me doing it now.) (PG-13)
Teen Titans Go! To the Movies Here's the point at which DC on film becomes totally meta. This spinoff of the goofy animated TV series boasts a voice cast that includes the beloved Will Arnett – but not as Batman, a role he's verged on owning after his participation in two well-received Lego movies. Meanwhile, Nicolas Cage finally gets to play Superman, a dream he saw dashed when Tim Burton's 1998 Superman Lives fell apart right before filming was due to start. Listen, somebody has to obsess about stuff like this. Just be thankful I didn't point out that Lil Yachty is now the second rapper to be cast as Green Lantern. Because nobody needs that. (PG)
Dhadak The 2016 Marathi-language romance Sairat has been remade a full five times, most recently in this Hindi version. Romeo and Juliet-style conflicts ensue when a boy and girl from different castes meet and fall in love. Hey, at least they're speaking the same language. Nyuk! (NR; playing at AMC Universal Cineplex 20)
Three Identical Strangers A documentary exposé about identical triplets who were separated at birth and raised in very different households as part of a cruel scientific experiment. On the plus side, they never had to fight over the bathroom. (PG-13; playing at Regal Waterford Lakes Stadium 20 & IMAX and AMC Disney Springs 24 with Dine-in Theatres)