Starting this issue, beloved readers, we expand our criminal horizons to include a few reports from the Orange County Sheriff's Office (OCSO) and even one from the Kissimmee Police Department (KPD). Not all deeds dastardly or wacky are confined within the limits of Orlando.
(OCSO) 4 a.m.: Deputies hosted 15 other police agencies on an all-night "DUI Saturation Patrol," covering the east side of the county. They only made two traffic arrests and one drug bust, but managed to find more than 200 reasons to write tickets.
(2009-57226) 12:37 a.m.: We think we know how this got started. Somebody broke into the Florida Services lot on Dinneen Avenue and stole a couple of white Ford vans, burglarizing another. Conveniently, keys had been left in the unlocked vans. Left on the scene were three empty Natural Ice beer cans.
(2009-577892) 2:45 a.m.: On Hillcrest Street, a car with a broken window is lonely for the 9 mm Hi-Point Firearms pistol that used to be inside.
(2009-577165) 7:38 a.m.: The staff at Tire Shack on West Amelia Street are bereft. Oh, the tragedy. Some black-hearted villain has taken their six cans of Coors Light! Oh, and they smashed a window and stole an automobile scanner.
(2009-577245) 8:20 a.m.: In an intricate joint maneuver, two guys teamed up to snatch a wallet from another man's back pocket on Rosewood Way.
(OCSO) 6:22 p.m.: Deputies found a 19-year-old with multiple gunshot wounds at the corner of 41st Street and South Orange Blossom Trail. He was pronounced dead at the hospital 32 minutes later.
(2009-578228) 7:05 p.m.: Mystery abounds in this one. A couple claimed they were robbed "somewhere in the area of Carver Shores/Richmond Heights." The baffling bandits shot the man in the left foot, but he refused to give a written statement, and his girlfriend refused even to give her name.
(2009-578250) 9:16 p.m.: A guy was beaten badly enough at the corner of Lime Avenue and West South Street to need a trip to the hospital, but not badly enough for him to want anyone prosecuted.
(2009-578179) 10:04 p.m.: Three cars with goodies visible inside had their windows smashed on Highland Avenue. Goodies are gone.
(2009-578617) 2:15 a.m.: One guy named Sylvester threw a vase at another guy named Sylvester on Orange Center Boulevard. Tweety escaped unharmed.
(OCSO) 7:20 a.m.: Three male students — ninth, 10th and 11th grade — were arrested after their homemade acid bomb went off in the Cypress Creek High School courtyard near the office. The only injury was a burned index finger for a school employee doing cleanup. No word on their impending senior science projects.
(2009-579086) 9:59 a.m.: Somebody stole an air conditioner from a house window on North Tampa Avenue, but it might have been gone for two days.
(2009-579477) 2:45 p.m.: Purse snatching at Home Suite Home on East Colonial Drive.
(2009-579604) 4:24 p.m.: Cocaine bust at corner of Lime Avenue and West South Street. The state of Florida and society were deeply offended.
(2009-579840) 7:22 p.m.: A man hiding his face behind a skullcap stuck up the Sunny Mart on Vineland Road, fleeing with a woman in an off- white car.
(2009-579606) 4:25 p.m.: Into Winter Park Hospital came a man with a gunshot wound on his right finger. He said it happened around Colonial Drive and Summerlin Avenue 15 hours earlier, but wouldn't say how.
(2009-580037) 9:41 p.m.: Over at Florida Hospital South, a guy finally got around to having that two-day-old gunshot wound treated. He got it on inaccurately named Mercy Drive, but would say no more.
(2009-580103) 10:22 p.m.: The guy who jimmied a car ignition on South Kirkman Road only got as far as some apartments on Timberleaf Boulevard.
(2009-580156) 10:58 p.m.: The search radius is probably short for the perp who stuck up the Circle K on South Semoran Boulevard. He took cash and cigarettes, then fled on foot — so if he dove into his loot, he may not have made it more than a block.
(2009-580392) 12:45 a.m.: It was a harrowing night for Officer David Cruz. A guy already under arrest spat out of the car window, spattering Cruz's left shoulder. "I did not sustain any injuries," the officer assures us, but the attempt did net the arrestee an additional charge of battery on a law enforcement officer.
(KPD) 1:57 p.m.: When police looked for the guy they want in a Nov. 23 robbery of the Expedia Wireless store on South John Young Parkway, they found their suspect already in Orange County Jail on unrelated email@example.com