(2009-561184) 5:30 p.m.: Orlando police are on the lookout for a suspiciously well-trimmed lawn. A guy on Park Lake Street found his whole trailer full of lawn care equipment, and more from his utility closet, was missing.
(2009-561372) 11:43 p.m.: Step one: Stab your wife in the shoulder. Step two: Wave the knife in her face to keep her from calling the cops. Step three: Fail to impress her and get arrested. South Cottage Hill Road.
(2009-561384) 11:54 p.m.: A call about one handgun on Cynthia Street drew one arrest and four handguns confiscated.
(2009-561412) 12:20 a.m.: How the carjacky have fallen, getting run to ground at Lee Vista Club Apartments and arrested after a foot chase.
(2009-561418) 12:20 a.m.: A man with a mohawk on Mercy Drive had no mercy on his debate opponent — after an argument, he came back with a razor blade and slashed the other guy's leg.
(2009-561770) 7:27 a.m.: It's getting so you can't stack two empty suitcases next to a tree on Newman Street anymore, at least not without the bomb squad sniffing around.
(2009-561803) 8:05 a.m.: Neither luxuriant locks nor door locks kept burglars out of Majesty Hair Palace. Several items disappeared after someone smashed the glass door with a rock.
(2009-561940) 9 a.m.: If you live at Serrano Apartments, you may already be a loser; someone stole a bunch of your mail.
(2009-562394) 5:55 p.m.: Again with the colorful thieves. This time an occupied green hoodie, white T-shirt, blue jeans and black sneakers waved a silver handgun at the Metro PCS store, taking $200.
(2009-562565) 8 p.m.: The considerate burglar, when he's awakened a sleeping resident at Middlebrook Farms Apartments, flees in silence.
(2009-562682) 9 p.m.: Another mysterious handgun hits the streets. This one came from Royal Isle Apartments, where the owner was unable to remember the make, model or serial number of his missing 9 mm.
(2009-564256) 11:45 p.m.: So much for home defense. Somebody on Harwich Street lost a bunch of stuff to burglars — including an AK-47.
(2009-564413) 1:40 a.m.: Somebody in a suspicious-looking Honda was seen breaking into five cars at the Crown Plaza Hotel, but escaped.
(2009-564693) 8:30 a.m.: If you hear of a second-story theft at a place called the Breakfast Club, "miscellaneous dinnerware items" are really what you'd expect to be missing.
(2009-564744) 9:53 a.m.: One report of a car burglary on Hollenbeck Drive revealed half a dozen had been vandalized.
(2009-564825) 10 a.m.: The bad night for cars continued on Osman Avenue, where six more vehicles had windows broken.
(2009-564948) 1:52 p.m.: A guy sitting in his car at the Wal-Mart on South Semoran Boulevard was robbed at gunpoint, and his assailant drove off in something described as a "Hyundai Celica."
(2009-566285) 11:36 a.m.: Monday in the park with drugs. A booze stop in Cherry Park also turned up 31 hydrocodone pills.
(2009-566788) 6:30 p.m.: Dude, if you don't like your unit at the Pines at Monterey, just tell the office manager — kicking in the door and shooting 9 mm rounds through the walls won't improve things.
(2009-566828) 6:44 p.m.: Caught on camera, but not in real life: some guy burglarizing at least five cars outside the Elephant Bar at Millenia Mall.
(2009-567000) 9:35 p.m.: What's the harm in giving a fat guy in an old truck directions to Wal-Mart? For three men walking on Arnold Palmer Avenue, their courtesy was rewarded with a stick-up.
(2009-568671) 9:38 p.m.: Evil clown — seriously, in a mask — waves a gun at Cumberland Farms on Bumby Avenue and flees with money.
(2009-568695) 9:50 p.m.: Several men performed a beat-down on MetroWest Boulevard, snatched another guy's car keys and took off in a black four-door car.
(2009-569005) 1:50 a.m.: Look out for a tall skinny guy at the Landings Apartments. He'll pull a gun on you, hit you in the head, and take your wallet and keys.
(2009-569008) 2 a.m.: Even more random assaults: A hitchhiker on Orange Blossom Trail thought he got a nice ride in a black Toyota, until the driver beat him with a handgun and took his wallet.
(2009-570835) 3:06 a.m.: Sheesh, it doesn't let up. Some thugs knocked out a passerby with an "unknown blunt object" on the corner of Terry and Central, then took his cell phone and $75.
(2009-570791) 3:07 a.m.: "I'm gankin' it!" Food, that is, at a McDonald's on South Orange Blossom Trail. The concrete block through the window firstname.lastname@example.org