(2009-521970) 10:28 a.m.: Hey, so Happy Turkey Day, y'all. Too much food, way too much family, what's not to love? Well, anyway, if you plan on escaping for an after-dinner bender, or you're just seeking a few minutes away from away from your annoying aunt and her fourth husband, I'd recommend a nice stout at the Scruffy Murphy's in College Park. Of course, it's entirely possible that they'll be missing a 46-inch plasma television, as someone broke into the place, pried open the wooden lock box and jacked the telly, which means there'll be one less giant screen for you to watch grown men in tights jump on each other.
(2009-522077) 11:49 a.m.: The week's first AC theft comes from an electronics store on Brengle Avenue. Will it be the last? Stay tuned.
(2009-522228) 1:27 p.m.: And here's our Police Beat Asshat o' the Week: "A black male suspect on a bicycle approached a 32-year-old mentally challenged black male victim at the LYNX bus stop `on Rosewood Way`. The suspect, on pretext, asked the mentally challenged victim for change `for` a dollar. When the victim took out his wallet to give change, the suspect snatched the wallet and a CD player out of the victim's hands and rode off on his bicycle. Victim ran after the suspect to no avail."
(2009-522572) 5:39 p.m.: Oh, another AC theft! This one from an unopened business on Bennett Road called Jam Orlando. So that sucks a little.
(2009-522643) 6:22 p.m.: Purse-snatching on North Lane. The suspects escaped a canine search.
(2009-522926) 8:59 p.m.: A purse-snatching in the same block where the mentally challenged man got robbed earlier. Hmmm.
(Case number missing) 11:36 p.m.: "On the above date and time, a black male wearing a black hoodie, approximately 30 years old, attempted to enter the residence at `address redacted` E. Jefferson St. through a bedroom window at the back of the house. The victim was in the bedroom at the time. The suspect did not make entry and fled in an unknown direction."
(2009-523885) 11:18 a.m.: "Unknown suspect(s) entered the business and removed $640 from the safe. It should be noted there were no signs of forced entry to the business or the safe."
(2009-523908) 11:37 a.m.: AC theft No. 3. This time, the thieves just took the copper wiring, not the whole unit. The victim: an IHOP. On a sorta related, but amusing note: Two people up in my neck of the woods were arrested for, um, not paying a tip. I shit you not. There's this restaurant in Bethlehem, Pa., where some college students ran up a $73 bill, drinking and whatnot. According to them, the service was less-than-excellent, so they weren't particularly thrilled with the mandatory 18 percent gratuity the restaurant tacked on. So they told the manager, paid their bill, and declined to tip. The manager called the cops, and the cops arrested the non-tippers. The restaurant is called the Lehigh Pub, so if you're ever up my way visiting, we'll just avoid that joint, eh?
(2009-524496) 6:27 p.m.: Someone stole an ATV from a pawn shop on West Colonial.
(2009-524600) 7:25 p.m.: Breaking into an OUC substation in an effort to steal, well, whatever, is not as easy as it looks. You may get busted on site.
(2009-524606) 7:35 p.m.: Someone burglarized three cars outside the Plaza Theatre.
(2009-524779) 9:40 p.m.: "On the above date and time, a black male suspect wearing black clothes using a black semi-automatic handgun robbed the victim. The suspect was a passenger in a silver four-door-type vehicle last seen headed toward I-Drive."
(2009-525023) 1:17 a.m.: Reports Officer Becton: "A male drove up to the victims, who were walking on the sidewalk near the Fairfield Inn `on T.G. Lee Road` and demanded the women hand over their purses or they would die."
(2009-525039) 1:34 a.m.: Three guys broke into a house, beat the homeowner with baseball bats and a flashlight, and stole stuff.
(2009-525123) 3:03 a.m.: You wouldn't think a forklift company would be the best place to rip off a digital camera, but you'd be wrong.
(2009-525140) 3:20 a.m.: So remember last time, when I told you about the Baha'i center on Hillcrest that was torched twice in a couple of weeks? Make that three. Someone really has a hard-on for this weird little religion, which by and large seems harmless.
(2009-524428) 5:43 p.m.: Over to you, Officer Clarke: "An unknown black/Hispanic male took food items from inside the Hess gas station. … When approached by employees, the suspect stated that he wasn't paying for the items and that he would kill the employees if they tried to stop him. The suspect then exited the store, passing all points of purchase. He headed northbound on a red bicycle."
(2009-527465) 11:44 a.m.: Six people were shot on Legion Place; one of them died. The suspect went to his apartment, which is not really an ideal place to hide out when the cops want you on a murder firstname.lastname@example.org