(2009-197398) 9:13 a.m.: A suspect smashed a brick through a salon's window; inside, he or she removed a plasma television and DVDs.
(2009-197915) 4:46 p.m.: A woman painted over some graffiti in her neighborhood. A few hours later, someone "kicked and damaged" her garage door. Coincidence? She thinks not.
(2009-198229) 9:20 p.m.: So if you call 911 and hang up, the cops will show up anyway. They have technology. Units responded to such an aborted phone conversation this evening at an apartment on Ring Neck Road (not Red Neck Road, as my glazed-over eyes saw it), where they'd discovered that five people had broken through the front door "to fight one of the occupants," an 18-year-old man who, despite his age, is still listed as a "juvenile victim," which doesn't really make sense. The young man's daddy took a licking in the process, and the five suspects took off.
(2009-198264) 9:58 p.m.: "On the above date and time, unknown suspects broke a window to the front office at the listed `laundromat` business and removed a Stihl weedeater-edger."
(2009-198358) 11:14 p.m.: A guy walked into his apartment and found another guy robbing the place. The suspect fled but was later tracked down by a police dog.
(2009-198493) 1:09 a.m.: Downtown purse snatching. The cops tracked down the three bad guys and arrested them for "robbery by sudden snatching."
(2009-199359) 2:07 p.m.: When you see police walking toward you in Parramore, dropping your crack on the ground isn't a good idea, as this 37-year-old woman discovered.
(2009-199623) 4:49 p.m.: When the above-referenced woman was transported to the pokey, a strip search "recovered a plastic tube containing several pieces of crack cocaine." The police report doesn't say from where. Eww.
(2009-199786) 6:14 p.m.: Let's read, then discuss: "On the above date and time, at the above location, after meeting the suspect on MySpace, the victim drove to his house. The suspect then invited her into his bedroom where he had unconsensual sex. The victim declined to prosecute." OK, meeting someone on the Internet is not inherently bad. The tubes, and even the bastardized social networking sites that will ultimately destroy Western civilization (Twitter!), can be a fine resource for those seeking a relationship or some quick-and-easy ass. That said, when you meet someone with whom you've become acquainted on freaking MySpace, you may want to consider doing it in a public place. The person you're meeting could be a con; after all, with an unscrupulous conscience and a Google Image search, you, I or anyone could be a hot 21-year-old sorority girl looking for love. Even if this person is the advertised merchandise, there's no guarantee he or she won't be a creep. So meet at a bar and scope out the situation in public, where bad things are less likely to befall you.
(2009-199977) 8:10 p.m.: Traffic stop turns up an active arrest warrant. Subsequent pat-down turns up a small amount of crack in a cigarette case.
(2009-200388) 12:25 a.m.: Armed robbery on Mercy Drive.
(2009-201021) 10:34 a.m.: A villain broke into a College Park home, but couldn't figure out how to remove the flat-screen television from the wall before the alarm went off.
(2009-201488) 3:44 p.m.: "Unknown person(s) used an unknown tool to pry the front door of the residence to gain access and removed televisions, a laptop computer and air purifiers."
(2009-201516) 4 p.m.: Shooting on OBT.
(2009-202046) 9:47 p.m.: At a traffic stop, the driver volunteered that he had a gun in the car, which — considering that the gun's serial number had been, in the words of Officer Foster, "obliterated" — may not have been the wisest of moves.
(2009-203421) 4:19 p.m.: Drive-by on Point Look Out Road. Appropriate.
(2009-203590) 6:04 p.m.: Oh, wonderful. A guy broke into an East Kaley Street house and stole a Glock and two magazine clips.
(2009-203676) 7:05 p.m.: Oh, fantastic. A suspect or suspects broke into a Hand Boulevard house and stole a goddamn arsenal: "a large locked gun safe containing two pellet guns, a starter pistol, two shotguns (one double-barrel sawed-off), and three rifles (.223 semi-automatic with two full banana clips, a 7 mm Browning with scope, and a .22 bolt action)."email@example.com