(2009-109912) 12:32 a.m.: A guy was arrested on South Garland Avenue with 244 grams of pot, 10 grams of blow and a bunch of Ecstasy pills. And somewhere, someone needs a new dealer.
(2009-110038) 3:03 a.m.: A cop at Universal Studios was allegedly battered by a 29-year-old while arresting him for another battery.
(2009-110051) 3:12 a.m.: Dope, jail, the end.
(2009-110919) 6:04 p.m.: Officer Shaw's on the case: "At 1100 hours, complainant is at the business and there's nothing missing. At 1830 hours, I performed a business check at … West Gore Street and noticed the business has been burglarized again. Contacted my supervisor and met with the complainant."
(2009-111454) 1:21 a.m.: "At the above listed address, known suspect walked through the unlocked front door and removed undisclosed amount of money."
(2009-111501) 2:29 a.m.: Burglar busted with pot. More importantly, OPD has something called the "Kilo Alpha Midnight squad," which is probably less awesome than it sounds.
(2009-113444) 10:24 a.m.: Officer Henry doesn't do commas, no sir: "The complainant observed the maintenance shed ajar. The complainant observed the lock also missing from the front door. Upon reviewing the surveillance video the complainant positively identified the suspect who tampered with the lock and entered the maintenance area as one of the residents who lived `in the apartment complex`. The subject was located and arrested and charged with burglary."
(2009-113550) 11:36 a.m.: An elderly lady left her door unlocked and her purse on the dining room table while she was sleeping. Guess what happened.
(2009-114594) 12:16 a.m.: The cops busted a 24-year-old with pot in Parramore, then took his car.
(2009-114596) 12:16 a.m.: This makes perfect sense: A 16-year-old "attempted to gain entry into the apartment, where he was apprehended by officers following a pursuit on foot."
(2009-115120) 9:22 a.m.: Police Beat Fail o' the Week: "Video surveillance caught a white female suspect on the property of `a Lake Eola restaurant`. It was later discovered that there were pry marks to the exterior east door and pry marks to the metal molding on the southeast corner of the building. Entry was not gained."
(2009-115150) 9:40 a.m.: Police Beat Fail o' the Week, part two: "The complainant was asleep in the residence when the suspects attempted to break in through the back window. Entry was not gained."
(2009-115241) 10:32 a.m.: Police Beat Fail o' the Week, part three: "Unknown suspect attempted to gain entry at `a downtown steakhouse` with negative results. This is the fourth attempted burglary and entry was not gained."
(2009-115503) 1:16 p.m.: "On today's date and time … a black female only known as Monique entered the apartment through an unlocked front window and removed $1,000 in cash, which was hidden under a bed in the front bedroom."
(2009-116019) 6:11 p.m.: "I, Officer Wellon of the Parramore Heritage Bike Unit, conducted drug surveillance in the area of South Parramore Avenue and West Washington Street. My surveillance ascertained a felony drug arrest for possession of cocaine."
(2009-116470) 10:55 p.m.: Bad move No. 1: beating up an 18-year-old girl. Bad move No. 2: making a run for it while the cops are handcuffing you (hello, Mr. Taser). Bad move No. 3: having some blow on you. Add it up: jail.
(2009-116503) 11:14 p.m.: Yay. Another shooting in MetroWest: A guy in a Nissan Altima fired three shots into another car on Kirkman Road.
But hold on! OPD spokescop Barb Jones just sent an e-mail to the city's crime reporters informing us that this shooting actually happened in "Kirkman North," not MetroWest. Per the e-mail: "Kirkman Road is the dividing line between the MetroWest neighborhood and the Kirkman North and Kirkman South neighborhoods. If you look at the map, any incident that happens on the east side of Kirkman Road would be part of the Kirkman North neighborhood and Kirkman South neighborhood. The west side would be considered the MetroWest neighborhood. NOTE: The shooting from `March 11` happened in the northbound lane of Kirkman Road at Arnold Palmer Drive, therefore it happened in the Kirkman North neighborhood."
Sorry, but anything that happens a block from MetroWest Boulevard will always be MetroWest in my firstname.lastname@example.org